Top 5 Secrets Women Carry

Women are curious creatures, aren’t we? There’s tiny things we do, that we don’t realize we are doing. Things that maybe someone who hasn’t always lived as a woman would ever know. But I’m about to let you in on some of those little secrets. These things might seem insignificant, but really are a large part of a woman’s life. Even if she doesn’t realize it.

We Keep Track of EVERYTHING

Women write things in their calendar that only they know what they mean. A woman’s day timer might resemble hieroglyphics to some people. A big letter P or a red circle around a date will symbolize the first day of her period. This is important because the doctor always wants to know – even if you’re seeing him for an ear infection! Hearts symbolize anything to do with a love, obviously – a sexy meet up, an anniversary or an upcoming date with someone special. Dollar signs can be used to denote paydays or bill payment dates. We will also draw squares or circles around important appointments so they don’t get lost in the clutter of other to-dos.

Not only do we keep track of our own things, but we have to keep track of our kids’, husband’s, parent’s and friends’ goings ons as well. Heaven forbid we let them fend for themselves! They might miss an appointment, class, sports practice or special event if we don’t remind them of it! Expect colour coding or some other sort of denotation in a woman’s calendar to keep everyone straight.

women use symbols on the calendar

We Keep Memorabilia for Years

Whether it’s kids school work, ticket stubs, reminders of past lovers, or mementos from vacations, we can call up a memory easily. Just because we have this stuff doesn’t mean we look at it, we just have it.  And we have it because we have always had it, and we always will. This might not be a secret, because men hold onto mementos too, but unlike men, we don’t display these items. Our items are secret, tucked away into a diary or a nightstand drawer. We take them out when we are feeling hurt, they comfort us. We use them to jog our memory when we forget things or want to reminisce on when times were better. Once in awhile we realize we aren’t the same person we were when we enjoyed the item, so we pass it on to another woman who needs it on her journey right now.

We Are Too Hard on Ourselves

Women secretly think they aren’t good enough. We stress about not being home with the kids because we want to be a good employee or business owner. We obsess that we are too fat, too tired or too stupid. That internal monologue is always present, no matter how many inspirational quotes we surround ourselves with. We worry that we aren’t good enough in bed or that our house isn’t clean enough for visitors. Women stress about keeping their schedules intact or that the dog might be sick. We secretly tell ourselves that nothing we do is ever perfect. When we examine every aspect of our lives – Family, Career, Home, Finances – everything on it’s own might be great, but altogether, something is off. And we can never figure out what it is, even though we analyze it to death. This is a secret all women carry and we can only hope that one day, a partner will come along and carry the worry and burden with us and make it a little less heavy.

We are Secret Hoarders

Our houses might look pristine to anyone who enters, but somewhere, we have an uncontrollable urge to hoard a particular item. Some women have a large stash of mini hotel shampoos (for when we travel, because they are so handy…oh wait…here’s a new bottle in this hotel room too!!!!) Some women have a secret stash of household supplies like toilet paper or paper towel. Other women might have a junk drawer, filled to the brim with God-knows-what, for when we need that thingamajiggy. Day to day, we are normal people, with normal houses, but there’s always a secret hoarding instinct niggling at us for at least one particular item.

We Hate Shaving

If there were no men in the world we would be absolute savages! We would burp and fart and walk around topless and never ever shave ever again!!!! Sure, some uppity women might take longer to ditch the grooming habits, but after a couple months, even the Queen would say screw it to shaving. We groom ourselves to impress the men and conform to society, not at all because we enjoy it. P.S. we also hate pantyhose. There I said it.

 

So there you have it, a secret look at the things women carry inside them, without even thinking about it. It’s our way of life. If you ask a women about something on this list, she might chuckle and give you a sly grin, or she might slap you! Either way, take it as truth and love her as she is, secrets and all.

 

 

Top 10 Feminine Habits to Develop for Crossdressers

It’s time to shed those little “Man”nerisms that you do everyday without even thinking. When you develop new feminine habits and retrain your brain to think and act as a woman, you will be well on your way to enjoying the new you even more! What’s awesome is that all of these habits can be performed while in male mode!

10. Put your Napkin on Your Lap

It’s more delicate, more refined and more feminine when you take a moment to place your napkin on your lap before eating. Having your napkin on your lap will also remind you to sit with your legs together, rather than in a V-shape as many men sit.

9. Learn a Craft

Men tend to be more handy with tools and fixing things, so use your hands by doing a more delicate craft. There are many classes available at art supply stores such as Michaels or local art galleries. You can also investigate your library for classes or crafting books. Some fun crafts to try are scrapbooking, rubber stamps or card making, pottery or pottery painting at Crock-a-Doodle, making your own Christmas decorations or floral arranging.

8. Switch Beer for Wine or a Cocktail

Men often drink beers with the guys, but women drink wine, fruit coolers or cocktails like Bellinis when together. Next time you’re out, order a drink that comes with a straw and pretend you’re wearing lipstick that you don’t want to smudge!

7. Do More Housework

Even though times have changed, it’s still a fact that women complete most of the household chores including vacuuming, dusting and laundry. Ask your wife all the things she does around the house. You might be surprised how much she accomplishes that you didn’t even know needed to be done! Be a better husband and a better woman by learning how to complete some of those chores and changing your housecleaning habits.

Take on more household chores to develop your feminine habits.

6. Sit With Your Legs Closed

Men often make themselves bigger with a more open pose for standing, sitting and walking. Reduce your stature by changing your posture. Keep your legs and arms together when sitting and standing. This is a habit that is taught to girls when they are young-“Sit with your legs closed, hands on your lap, you’re wearing a skirt and no one needs to see your panties!” Said Mom and Grandma.

Sit in a closed position, opposite of the big open posture a man takes.

5. Call Yourself a Girl

When describing yourself, especially while dressed, don’t say things like “I’m a conservative guy” or “I’m a shy guy.” When you are dressed as a girl, make it a habit to describe yourself as such by saying things like “I’m a fun girl.”

4. Smile More

No matter who you are, or how you’re feeling, the habit of smiling more is sure to put you in a good mood, as well as those around you. Smiling at people also develops confidence and rapport. If you can show people through a smile that you are happy who you are, then the world will be a better place with you in it.

3. Adopt a Skin-Care Routine

Skin Care is extremely important to most women. No one wants wrinkles, blotchy skin, sun-burned skin or a tired look. A simple routine of washing and moisturizing your face twice a day will make a world of difference in the quality of your skin. Don’t forget to apply sunscreen as well!

2. Carry Personal Items in a Bag

Don’t stuff your pockets full with your wallet, keys, cell phone, etc. Use a satchel, purse, or even a back pack to carry your belongings around. Most women’s clothes don’t have pockets and if they do, they aren’t large enough to carry all that stuff. Develop a new feminine habit by leaving the house with a bag of some sort.

1. Sit to Pee!

This seems so obvious to me, but my clients always leave the toilet seat lid up after using my bathroom at an appointment. Whether you’re dressed or not, pee like a girl in a seated position!

By adopting these 10 simple habits, you will be well on your way to thinking and acting more like a lady. To learn more feminine habits or to hone your feminine silhouette, book a Comportment Lesson at Lesada today!

What challenges do you have when thinking as a women? Comment below.

Summer Fashion Beat the Heat for Crossdressers

Crossdressing in the Summer can be sweltering! Wig, breast forms, bras, waist cinchers, butt pads, long sleeves to cover arm hair, two layers of stockings to cover leg hair, and makeup melting on your face, it’s not a pretty sight in the unrelenting summer heat. So what can a girl do to stay cool and fresh? These Summer Fashion clothing tips are sure to keep you cool as you enjoy the summer fun.

Free your Feet for Summer Fashion

  • Paint your toenails a bright, bold colour to make a hot summer fashion statement. Coral, teal, red or neon pink are guaranteed to make a splash! If you think your feet or toenails are too big and will appear manly, minimize the size by creating a design, or use two different colours on one nail. If your nails are highlighted with colour, the eye will be drawn there, not to the rest of your foot.
  • Wear open toed sandals, flip flops or flats. Summer is for running, swimming, hanging out with friends by a campfire. There is no need to look like you walked off the runway in sky-high heels! Ditch the heels and tread lightly in some fun, light footwear.
Minimize the size with a design or two-tone colours

Show Off Those Legs! (Or Not)

  • If you got it, flaunt it! If you opt to shave your legs, all the power to you! Wear skirts, shorts or sundresses to reveal what’s been hidden all winter.
  • If shaving your legs is not an option, you don’t have to swelter in the heat under layers of stockings. Instead, choose a long, floor length, flowy dress or skirt. Also look for bright, bold patterns or pleats to hide any other manly body parts, excess weight or other things you usually try to cram into a pair of stockings! Fabrics should be heavy enough to not be see-through, but light enough to be breathable.
  • Show off your enviable leg-length and be in hot Summer Fashion with elastic, high-waisted, straight-legged pants. It doesn’t matter what colour, dark or light, these types of pants are sure to keep you loose, cool and feeling sexy.

 

High waisted elastic pants are cool and flowy
Long, bold patterned skirts hide many manly body features

Waist Cinchers and Corsets be Gone!

  • Breathe a sigh of relief from the heat! Ditch the cincher and choose breathable Summer Fashion instead. Bamboo is a revolutionary fabric that wicks moisture away and keeps you cool.
  • Opt for optical illusions! Look for dresses and clothing styles that create the illusion of curves. Search for dresses that have colourful fronts and backs with darker sides. Other options to create waist curves are belts, side ruching, decorative buckles and bows.
Give yourself instant curves with a silhouette illusion dress
Create an hourglass figure with ruching and belts

Summer Fashion to Cover your Arms

  • Sweaters and long sleeves aren’t really an option in the summer heat. To cover muscular or hairy arms and shoulders, try a light wrap. A large silky scarf or lightly knitted poncho are great, airy summer options.
  • Instead of hiding your shoulders, highlight them with peasant type blouses or off-the shoulder tops. This Summer Fashion adds a flirtiness to your look while keeping you cool.
  • Go lacy if you need the comfort of long sleeves. Choose a dark colour to hide hair, or go for a lighter look with whites and creams.
a lacy top over a bright tank will cover up, but stay cool
Wear a light beach cover-up to stay cool, yet fashionable
Highlight your shoulders with a blousy, long sleeve off-the-shoulder top

Summer Fashion Accessories

  • Accessorize your look with hats, bags, jewellery, scarves, fun belts and don’t forget sunglasses!
  • Remember the hottest summer look you can rock is a smile, so wear yours boldly and get out there in the Summer Heat, with these awesome Summer Fashion hits!
  • Check out Summer Beauty tips for Crossdressers to Beat the Heat for great makeup tips to keep your face from melting this summer.

Comment below your favourite tip or summer fashion secret!

 

Fun Femme Outings! for Crossdressers

No one likes to be all dressed up with no where to go! When you’re dressed up, feeling gorgeous and on top of the world, it’s awesome to keep that feeling alive by enjoying an outing. Sometimes the thrill of dressing is enough to satisfy, but after awhile, you are going to want to share your beautiful self with the world. And if you’ve already enjoyed an outing or two,  I know you will want to do more and more with your femininity. So read on to get some new ideas for Fun Femme Outings!

A Hesitant Outing

If you’ve never dared to go out before, it’s time you did! Here are a few basics just to get your high-heeled foot out the door.

  • Go out on your back deck, balcony or stand inside the garage with the big door open. Breathe deeply for 5-10 minutes and smile at the world.
  • Take your car for a short drive, even if it’s at night, around town.
  • Take a walk to the mailbox, corner store or nearest intersection.

An Alone Outing

Once you’ve mastered leaving the house, you’ll want to spend some time testing your limits and building your confidence on a more thrilling outing. Here are some fun things you can do alone, without needing to involve anyone from the outside world.

  • Go to a park, sit on a bench and read a book or walk your dog.
  • Go to a large store or mall and wander around, you don’t need to buy anything. You don’t even need to go in, just stand in the parking lot!
  • Go to a drive-thru and place your order. Have cash and a smile ready for the cashier.
  • Go to the bank machine, dry cleaners, return your library books, or do any other regular errands that are simple and routine to you.

A Confidence Building Outing

The fun and thrills can really start to mount when you have the confidence to interact with other people! These people will probably be strangers, but make sure you look at them, speak up so they can hear you and smile, smile, smile! Remember you are not ashamed of who you are. What you are doing is not illegal and you have every right to live your life the way you want to. So, go, have fun and be proud of who you are!

  • Go to a cafe and sit in the front window.
  • Go shopping and try stuff on, make a purchase if your budget allows.
  • Visit an art gallery, museum, tourist attraction or point of interest.
  • Attend a seminar or talk geared for women.
  • Go to a nightclub.
  • Visit a salon for a mani/pedi.

A Making Friends Outing

Going out alone can be thrilling, but after awhile, it can seem routine. You’ll start wishing you had a friend to shop with, eat with, laugh with. Consider the friends you already have. Can you, or have you, revealed your true self to any of them? Would they be willing to go out with you? Try these tips to have a fun experience with others.

  • Book a Girl’s Day Out with Leanne from Lesada.
  • Find some new friends in your area from online sources or social media. Be sure they are local though, so you can actually go out with them.
  • Revisit all those places you went to alone and start talking to other people who are there and make friends with them.

The Ultimate Outing

Once you have confidence, a smile on your face, the taste of new thrilling experiences and friends at your side, the world is yours for the taking! You will no longer consider your outings as “Femme Outings,” but rather just outings and fun times. Your outings will be a way of life and you will wonder how it was ever scary or difficult to step out onto your front porch.

  • Attend a group event or support group fun night.
  • Travel to a convention, such as Fabulous at the Falls, Gal’s Spring Fling, WildSide Las Vegas, TG Detroit, etc.
  • Get your girlfriends together for a sleepover. Go to a hotel, cottage or resort.
  • Party it up at a club.
  • Host a direct sales shopping night party.
  • Throw a movie night with the girls.
  • Go bowling, play laser tag or mini golf with a bunch of friends.
  • Give each other makeovers and giggle about boys like a bunch of teenagers!

No matter what stage you are at in your Outing Confidence Level, just have fun! Life is way too short to worry about what others think. Make your own choices, stretch your own limits and Step Out in Confidence!

Leave a comment below describing your Fun Femme Outing experiences!

Tap Into Your Women’s Intuition

Women’s Intuition is a powerful gut feeling you can experience when your body and mind are in alignment. Women are often more in tune with their bodies than men through their menstrual cycles, pregnancies and menopause. Therefore, this sensation is often referred to as “Women’s Intuition.” So, if you were raised as a boy, is it possible to experience “Women’s Intuition?” It sure is! Read on to discover how to tap into your Women’s Intuition.

A More In-Depth Look At Women’s Intuition

What is Intuition?

Intuition is that gut feeling, that knowing, that something is as it is, without being told or even without using any facts. Some examples of this are:

  • Getting a text message from your best friend that says ‘hey’. And inherently knowing that there’s a deep sigh attached to it or if they are in a good mood.
  • Feeling a prickle on the back of your neck when someone is watching you from behind.
  • Feeling ill at the thought of going to work because you just know that it’s going to be a stressful day.
  • Being able to tell a woman is pregnant before she even knows herself.
  • Feeling like you need to switch careers because you can foresee that times are changing.

Notice how all of these examples are more feelings than logical facts. Women’s Intuition is tapping in to your feelings and thoughts to form an opinion and make decisions.

How to Tap Into Your Women’s Intuition

To be able to tap into your Women’s Intuition, your mind and body must be in tune with each other. There are several ways you can achieve alignment. Choose one or two of these examples to begin with, whichever ones you think you will enjoy the most.

  • Journalling – Journalling before bed or before you begin your day helps to dump out your worries, your excitements, your to-do lists and anything else that might get in the way of listening to your body. You don’t have to use a fancy journal, (although I believe lovely pages create lovely thoughts.) or an expensive pen, just get your thoughts out of your head!
  • Yoga – If you’re rolling your eyes, wait a second! Yoga will help stretch out all the kinks in your body. Yoga encourages rhythmic breathing and forces you to get in touch with the movements your body is craving. If you’ve never done yoga before, or need to go at a slow pace in the comfort of your own home, check out Yoga for Self Respect with Adriene. She will definitely have you hooked on yoga and in tune with yourself in 20 minutes, even if you’ve hated it in the past.
  • Thought Provoking Meditations – Get tuned in, turned on and tapped in to your inner vibrations with meditations like Abraham Hicks. Listen before bed, while driving, or instead of checking emails and rushing around. Get a new perspective on your thoughts.
  • Follow the Signs from Universe – Women’s Intuition becomes easier when you start paying attention to signs from a source that is greater than you. If people are always suggesting you follow a certain path, stop resisting! Go where you are clearly being pushed and soon you will intuitively know the direction in which you should head.

Live in the Moment

Just for today, for the 12-15 hours that you give yourself between sleep, LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

Live like this is the only day you will ever have.

Do things that empower you.

Do things to make you smile.

Do things that make you fly.

Say things that empower others.

Make someone else smile.

Uplift another so they fly.

When you live in the moment, you will be in tune, intuitively, creating a life in alignment with a higher sense of self. This is Women’s Intuition, and it is such a powerful experience!

Have you ever experienced Women’s Intuition? Leave a comment about your experience below.

Managing Femme Outings for Crossdressers

Are you nervous about taking an en femme outing? Do you worry about all the planning that seems necessary in advance?

I had the pleasure of speaking with Harietta during her free 15 minute scheduled call. Harietta said to me, “Let’s face it, we all love enhancing our inner femme.  But I dread the notion of being “clocked” or “read” as a man while wearing a dress in public. I feel my life would collapse if I was recognized in public for the true man I am. So, as a crossdresser, I have learned to ‘manage’ my outings.” Even though Harietta wants to keep her femme identity secret, she doesn’t let it deter her from going out in public and having fun!

Harietta went on to explain everything she does to ease her nervousness and boost her confidence when going out en femme.

Managing Femme Outings

What exactly does it mean to “Manage” your outings?

Thinking of your outing as a well choreographed experience will relieve stress and therefore enhance your outing. Planning everything in advance will ensure you haven’t forgotten anything or get caught off guard by something as simple as needing to use the washroom.

Several Days in Advance of Your Outing

Harietta advises,

  • Plan your outing – “I always know where I’ll be driving, where I’ll be parking, where I’ll be going, where I’ll be eating and where I’ll be peeing. Yahoo or Google Maps are great for this. Scout the place out in drab before. While out, you will need to use the ladies washroom, so make sure you know where it is.” Or, choose a small cafe that has only one washroom.
  • Wear your shoes around the house. Sometimes shoes need time to mold to your feet and you might need time to re-familiarize yourself with walking in heels.
  • Take extra special care of your skin days before and exfoliate the night before your outing so that there is no redness blasting through your foundation.
  • Consider heading out of town – If you really need to keep your identity secret, consider travelling out of town for a day or even two for a worry-free  romp.
  • Tucking Tip!  “If you insist on tucking you must practice it well at home. And you should spend some real time tucked in guy/drab mode to test your system.  It may take time to get to the point where twenty minutes in the car is not torture. When you go out en femme and tucked, make sure you have some regular undies and some wipes. Also consider that if you tuck those boys up there it displaces your bladder. Tight gaffs and undies make it worse. So limit the liquids, especially coffee, before you tuck.”

The Day of the Outing

  • Look your best “No matter how much I’ve paid for it, or if I have done it myself, I will not go out with sub-par hair and makeup, even from a pro. I worry about getting noticed if it’s not right, and it distracts from my enjoyment of the episode. I always tell the receptionist about my gender fluidity in advance.”
  • Pack Extra- “Always have a full set of man clothes and makeup remover in the car with a big blanket or comforter to change under in case things go south and you have to bail or answer a family emergency.”
  • Make a checklist of every item you take with you on your outing. Harietta reported she’s gone nuts wondering where her lip plumper went when she hadn’t actually included it in her kit!
  • Check the weather and traffic reports to avoid tie-ups and delays, especially if you have decided to take a your excursion to another city.

And the Most Important Tips…

  • HAVE FUN! 
  • Take a ton of photos!
  • Talk to people!
  • Do something you’ve always wanted to do!
  • Be yourself!

Hopefully, armed and prepared for the best you will be able to maximize your femme time and really enjoy your outing, while boosting your confidence at the same time.

Do you have any great tips on how you manage your outings? Leave a comment below!

Feminizing Your Office Crossdresser Tips

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to tell if a man or woman occupies a space? In most instances you can make the distinction immediately, but maybe you can’t lay your finger on exactly what elements comprise those differences. Read on to discover what nuances and minor touches you can add to your work space to give a more feminine impression.

Leave Personal Care Items Out

Feminizing your office immediately is as simple as leaving your personal care items in plain site on your desk. Items such as hand cream, emery boards, tube of lipstick or chap stick and snack bars/fruit have high impact in a subtle way. A sweater on the back of your chair or an extra pair of heels under your desk reinforces that a woman is occupying the space.

Use Feminine Desk Accessories

This seems like a no-brainer, but how you store your generic office items really makes a world of difference in the distinction between masculine and feminine. Women tend to display a lot more items than men do, giving a more cluttered feel to the space. If you usually keep your pens, scissors and stapler in a drawer, feminize your office by putting items in a cup on top of your desk instead. The cup doesn’t have to be covered in flowers, it could be a plain glass jar, just setting them out creates a feminine atmosphere. Other more feminine things to display include girly tissue boxes, softly coloured binders, desk calendar with lovely photos or inspirational quotes, some little knick-knacks and nice baskets to store your loose papers.

Display office items in a cup

Feminize your Office with Living Things

Women are nurtures. Add a living element to your space to heighten the sense of a woman being there. It could be as simple as a cactus or small houseplant or more complex like a Betta fish in a bowl or vase with a plant. If you can’t keep a plant alive or aren’t allowed to keep pets in your office, get a plastic plant instead, it still gives the same illusion that you are caring for something. Just be sure to dust it regularly and actually care for it!

 

Bring your Family & Friends into the Decor

Post your child’s artwork somewhere in your office where others can see it. If you have a home office, put it up where you can see it and change it regularly. You can also add photo frames on your desk or a shelf. When selecting a frame, choose a light colour like white or cream and one with rounded, soft edges. The subject matter of the photo should include a fun time with friends, family members or your pet.

Display your child’s art

Write Non-Work Related Stuff on your Calendar

Women write everything on their calendars! Write other people’s birthdays, write “My Birthday!” on your own birthdate! Make to do lists or doodle on the edges. Women even mark their calendar with a private symbol that means they started their period. When someone glances at your calendar, it should have at least 5 non-work related items on it per month.

Display Quotes and Inspiration

This has got to be one of the most feminine things you can add to your work space. And of course, you can’t just have one! You need a whole bunch of cluttered inspiration hanging off your computer screen, inside a cabinet door and tacked onto your bulletin board. Choose quotes or mantras that speak to you and pair them with images that inspire. If you don’t know how to get started, purchase a daily tear-off calendar and slowly build up a collection of your favourites. Stick them all around you and never take them down, just add, add, add! Other things you can display might be ticket stubs, postcards, notes from other people or other peoples’ business cards.

Display photos, quotes, memorabilia on your bulletin board

As you can see, there are a lot of subtle ways to add femininity into your personal work space. If you follow these simple tips, feminizing your office will be easy! Leave your tips in the comments area below!

 Take the next step on your feminization journey with an office feminizing analysis! Contact Lesada for this service today!

 

 

Dating Tips for Crossdressers

Dating Tips for Crossdressers

Let’s face it: Dating is tough. Dating is stressful. Dating sometimes makes you just want to stay single. These feelings can multiply if you are a crossdresser or are transgender. But there is definitely hope. Many couples enjoy a successful relationship that includes crossdressing. There are several key factors that were put in place to have this success. Read on to find out how you can enrich your dating life and give your whole self to a new relationship.

Know Yourself

Before you put yourself out there in the dating world, get to know yourself. Dating sites ask key questions on a profile builder and you need to know those answers! Have some hobbies and interests, create memories and experiences so you have exciting stories to share. Be involved in your community or career. If you want to find Mr. or Ms. Right, it’s only fair that you become Mr. or Ms. Right. If you are down and unhappy or projecting negativity into the world it will show on your profile and you will be passed over whether you are a crossdresser or not. People want to date fun people!  If you aren’t in a happy place, get help from a coach to change your perspective.

Be Open

All successful relationships that include crossdressing attribute this success to being open and honest. If you are hiding some aspect of yourself because you think it is shameful, then others will deem it to be shameful. Crossdressing is very common and is not shameful. It is a part of who you are and if you want someone to love you completely, you have to give them the opportunity to know you completely. Openness is a must for all relationships. If you enjoy crossdressing regularly, you may want to include some of your photos on your profile. Just as someone may enjoy running marathons or cooking or playing roller derby, you enjoy crossdressing and your photos should be a good indication of those interests.

Don’t Talk About Sexual Interests

Even if you are into crossdressing purely for sexual enjoyment, you do not need to reveal this to a potential partner in the beginning. People get turned off by sexual discussions when you haven’t even met or had an intimate encounter. You may feel this is an important part of being open, but in the beginning it’s not at all. If you want a long-term, loving relationship with someone, you need to know them first. It’s important to first find out if they can carry on a conversation, if you have similar interests, if you even get along. Once the chemistry is there and you want to share yourself more intimately with someone, you can lead up to sexual fantasies. A good rule to follow is do not talk about sex with someone until you have actually had sex with them!

Be Ready to Answer Questions

Dating is a chance to get to know a potential partner before making a commitment to be exclusive. If you reveal your feminine side to a potential partner, be prepared to answer questions and make sure your answers are cast in a positive light. Don’t be down on yourself or belittle yourself. Tell them why you love it, get excited about who you are and explain how it’s going to create a better relationship between the two of you. People shy away from the unknown. If you answer questions that your partner has, they will be more understanding and accepting. Be sure to tell your date any major future feminine plans (for example if you want GRS), so they are prepared and can ask more questions before making a decision about your future together.

Ask the Right Questions

Numerous times, I have been asked “Would you date a crossdresser?” This is absolutely not the make or break factor when it comes to dating. That’s like asking “Would you date a mountain climber?” I have absolutely no idea. Do they make me laugh? Are they good with kids? Do they have a job? Do they like going to antique markets? Because those things are all important to me too. Ask questions to find out what your date enjoys and if you enjoy those things too.

Date Outside of “Your Type”

I was looking for a classy, clean-cut man but I met someone who has a long beard, tattoos on his head and has no clue what a charcuterie board is! But, we are a hit and engaged to be married! Don’t be so stuck on a certain look or type of person that you miss out on an amazing potential partner. In a way, you are possibly asking your dates to date outside of their type with you, so give others a chance for yourself.

Live in the Moment

Often when dating, people get caught up in the future. People worry about distance and how would it work in the long term. Or people wonder if their friends and family would like their date. People also worry about getting married. None of those things matter when you are just dating. If you like someone and they like you back, all those other factors will just naturally sort themselves out. The Universe will align to allow what’s right for you to fall into place. When dating, live in the moment, enjoy the present with your partner and have fun being you as you get to know who they are.

With these elements in place, you will have fun, live in the moment and enjoy dating with a new perspective! Be you! Have fun! Enjoy Dating!

Comment below on your dating experiences and successes. What helped you find a partner or what struggles are you facing? Do you have any funny stories to share? Let others reader know in the comments below.

Shoe Shopping Guide for Crossdressers

Your Online Shoe Shopping Guide

With so much selection, how do you even begin to decide what shoes will help you put your best foot forward? Use the following filters to walk with ease through the selection process from toe to heel!

Shoe Sizing

If you can, it’s best to have your foot measured for the perfect fit. If you know your size in men’s wear, your size will most likely be 1.5-2 sizes larger in ladies.

Occasion

Next, it is best to decide when and where you will most often be wearing your new shoes. This will really help narrow down the type of shoe you are looking for, thus simplifying your search. It’s no use looking at sandals or open toe shoes if you plan to wear your shoes in the winter! Or, if you want to wear your shoes with a formal gown, you do not have to search among ballet flats.

Shoe Colour

Deciding on the colour you want ahead of time will also filter out a great deal in the shoe selection process. If you want a pair of shoes that will go with most outfits, stick with black, brown or beige. These colours aren’t nearly as exciting, but can be dressed up with accessories (see below). If you want a pair of statement shoes, try red, hot pink or electric blue.

With these basic filters in place, your online shoe shopping experience will be streamlined so you can have fun looking at all the options! Read on to see what else will help you find the perfect shoe so you can put your best foot forward!

Toe Style

Women’s shoes have a wide range of toe styles to suit everyone’s desires. Toe styles include:

  • Peep Toe: a closed upper portion on the toe area, with a small opening to show off the toes. It is recommended to wear peep toe in the summer with toe nail polish.
  • Closed Toe: no opening at all in toe area
  • Rounded Toe: closed toe that is rounded off, will shorted the look of your foot
  • Pointed Toe: closed toe that extends beyond the natural toe line, making the foot appear longer than it actually is.

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Shoe Body Style

Body type should hold as much importance as heel and toe style. Unfortunately you can’t filter out body style when searching online, but keep it in mind when you are looking. Body style of a shoe really affects the look of the length of your foot. If you are wanting to diminish the length of your foot, go for styles with straps. Straps will break up the expanse of your foot. Styles to look for are T-Strap, Thong or ones that have designs along the edge (see below). Also, you could go for an open body shoe, but add an ankle strap. An ankle strap will create the illusion of less space between ankle and leg.

Alternatively, if you are wanting to make your feet and legs look longer, opt for an open shoe style that allows a continuous space from toe to leg, such as the classic Pump or Stiletto.

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Heel Style

The last element to look for when choosing a shoe, is heel style. Super tall high heels may be sexy, but not if you are wobbling around and breaking your ankles! Know your limits and choose a heel style that you will feel comfortable in.

Platform shoes add 3.5-5″ to your height, so if you are wanting to down-play your stature, stick with a 1-2″ kitten heel or go up to 3″ with a pump or stiletto. If you want to dress up a pair of jeans or a cute little skirt, a ballet flat will be all you need to help you zip around town to run errands.

You should never drive while wearing a platform shoe or stiletto, as your heel could easily catch under the car pedal or on the floor mats. If you are driving to a function where you are going to wear heels, toss them in a bag to slip on later and wear a more practical shoe to drive and walk in.

Shoe Accessories

Check out all the fun shoe accessories available to turn your basic pumps into something stylish and fun! Choose from rhinestones, feathers, pom-poms, bows and more to clip on and help you put your best foot forward!

Happy Shoe Shopping!

How To Pack Like Pro

How to Pack Like Pro

How To Pack To Keep Your Pretty Things Pretty

Let’s face it, crossdressers have secret, pretty things hidden away in a duffle bag in the back reaches of their closet! But wouldn’t it be lovely if your items were still beautiful and not a dusty, wrinkled mess after being in storage? Here are a few tips on how to pack like a pro to keep your pretty things pretty!

Your bag should be large enough to hold everything, with several exterior and interior pockets. Separate your shoes, jewellery, cosmetics, wigs, clothes, padding into appropriate storage within your bag. 

How to Pack Everyday Items

  • How to Pack Shoes: Put shoes in a velvet shoe bag or an exterior pocket. Shoes will be protected from dust. Everything else in your bag will be protected from getting poked by a high heel!
  • How to Pack Small Items: All make up, jewellery, hair & nail accessories, scarves, pantyhose, slips, panties, etc can be stored in a cosmetic roll up bag.  It’s amazing how much these roll ups hold! Find what you are looking for quickly in a bag with clear pockets.
  • How to Pack cosmetics: Cosmetics should be stored in a cosmetic roll up bag as well. Divide everything into the different pockets in categories. Foundations, concealers and blush in one pocket; eye makeup in another; lipstick in a third and disposable applicators, sponges, Q-tips, brushes, etc in the last pocket. Everything will be clean, organized and you will save tons of time by not searching for things when you are getting dressed.
  • How to Pack Clothes: Carefully wrap all clothing in tissue paper and roll tightly. This not only saves you a ton of space, but, when done carefully, minimizes many wrinkles. There’s nothing worse than finally being able to slip into that silky blouse and finding it a wrinkled disgrace. Look for synthetic fabrics that are wrinkle-resistant.

How to Pack Feminization Items

  • How to Pack Wigs: Wigs should be kept in a pretty, decorative cardboard box or zip closure bag. Place a wad of tissue paper inside the cap of the wig, wrap a hairnet around the entire wig. Pack tissue paper around it before placing in the bag or box.  Do this to minimize static and keep your wig from becoming crushed or tangled.
  • How to Pack Padding: Silicone breast forms and other pads should be wrapped in bubble wrap and placed in an interior or exterior pocket in your duffle bag. Keep them away from high heel shoes or disaster could strike!
  • Add a photo album to your bag with photos of yourself or inspirational photos to help you when you are looking to add to your secret bag.

With these basic practices in place, you will love unpacking your secrets and will feel pretty in the process! Take care of your lovely things and honour them in the way they deserve.