How to Keep Your Pretty Things Pretty!

Let’s face it, I know some some of you have all of your secret, pretty things hidden away in a duffle bag in the back reaches of your darkest closet! But when you get to pull them out, wouldn’t it be lovely if they were still beautiful and not a dusty, wrinkled mess? Here are a few tips to get organized and be pretty at the same time!

Choosing a Bag

Your bag should have several side pockets and a large interior opening. In this case, size does matter! Choose a bag that is much bigger than what you think you will need. This will allow your items enough room so they don’t get crushed as well as give you room to expand your collection. You will also want to get a cosmetic roll up bag. These bags have multiple pockets and roll up into a tight compact bag.   One more bag to invest in would be a velvet shoe bag. This will protect shoes from scratches. It will also protect all the rest of your items from getting poked by a high heel or getting dirty from the shoes.

Dividing Your Items

Separate your items first. Place all small items in a cosmetic bag. Items for this bag include jewellery, scarves, pantyhose, makeup, hair and nail accessories. Put shoes in a separate shoe bag. Wigs and breast forms should be stored in a box or zip closure bag with tissue paper. And last, separate your clothing, preferably into outfits. Skirts with blouses or slacks and tops that you wear together. This will save you time if you only have a a short time to dress, your outfits will be ready and waiting for you. You may also wish to place bras, panties and other lingerie all together in a pretty lace bag.

Packing Your Bag

Use the exterior pockets for lingerie, pantyhose and scarves. The cosmetic roll up will fit into the exterior end pockets. Reserve one side of your bag interior for heavier items like shoes and boxes. Carefully wrap all clothing in tissue paper and roll tightly. This not only saves you a ton of space, but, when done carefully, minimizes many wrinkles. There’s nothing worse than finally being able to slip into that silky blouse and finding it a wrinkled disgrace. Place clothing in other side of the bag interior. This should leave room on top for your purse or other accessories. One last thing you may want to add to your bag is a photo album. Include photos of yourself or inspirational photos to help you add to your secret bag.

Place a checklist on the very top of everything in your bag. This will assist you next time you dress so you don’t worry about leaving anything behind. Make sure you update your list as you add or delete items. This is especially helpful with small items like cosmetics and hair accessories.

Create a checklist to make sure you haven’t forgotten to pack anything after dressing.

Storing Your Bag

Finding a place to store your bag may be the trickiest part. Choose a location that is easily accessible. You want to be able to bring it out whenever you want. Easily accessible places may include a closet, your car, the garage, basement or other spot on your property. Just make sure your bag isn’t going to end up taking on a musty smell. Perfume doesn’t cover odours! Inserting a bag of lavender or freshening pouch in your bag will aide in odours.

If you don’t feel comfortable storing your bag on your property, you can rent a locker, use Lesada’s bag storage service or keep things at your office or a friend’s place. Where there is a will, there’s a way!

If you need to undress quickly, make sure to go back later and repack your bag with care for the next time you get to dress. Honouring the beauty of your clothes and belongings will strengthen the confidence you have in your own beauty. Taking the time to pack your bag with care will reduce stress during your special time of getting ready.

I hope you enjoyed this article, please comment below your tips for storing and packing your pretty things.

Eyebrow Grooming Essentials

I thought the eyebrow craze was going to be a quick phase, but it’s going as strong as ever! Here are some quick and easy pointers to make your brow grooming easy and gorgeous!

The Purpose of Eyebrows

Humans have eyebrows to keep sweat and dirt from getting into our eyes. Eyebrows also convey a  lot of expression when we are communicating with people. So when grooming your brows, remember to keep actual hairs in place and keep your brows in a neutral arch so you don’t look angry, surprised or confused all the time!

Tools Needed for Eyebrow Grooming

A basic pair of tweezers is the most essential for at home grooming. You may also want a small comb or disposable mascara wand to train hairs in the right direction. Other supplies you may wish to use are brow gel, and either mineral powder eye shadow, applied with an angle brush or a brow pencil. If you choose to use makeup, be sure to choose a shade the same colour as your natural eyebrow, and no sparkles. Numbing creams can be found at a drug store if you have a low pain tolerance. Typically, hair removal hurts more the first few times, then your body is accustomed to it, and it’s not so bad.

Where to Begin

Eyebrow grooming chart from cosmopolitan.com

Take a pencil and place one end at the edge of your nostril, angled straight up beside your eye (A). Where the edge of the pencil sits is where your brow begins. If you tilt the pencil to the outer corner of your eye, this is where your eyebrow ends (D). Tilt the pencil one more time, through the pupil of your eye, and this is where your arch should be (B,C). You may wish to mark these points with a brow pencil or other removable marker.

Now you have a basic outline of where to groom.

My Eyebrows are so Bushy!

If, after doing this, you discover your eyebrows are straight across, growing onto your eyelids, or way over on the side of your face, don’t worry! If you want to groom your eyebrows gradually, just make sure you do it evenly on both sides. Brow grooming will help open your eye and your face. It will give you more room to put eye makeup. Grooming  will also make you look younger, as heavy brows can weigh down and darken your eyes.

As this photo illustrates, you should remove hairs outside of the pink dot area. Hairs above the nose, between eyes should be removed first. Hairs growing on your eyelid and under brow bone should be removed. And last, remove any hairs extending beyond the outer corner of your eye. Groom from below, not the top of your brow, unless you have stray hairs growing on your forehead area. Remember to stand back, away from the mirror, frequently, to examine your results.

Once these hairs are removed, you will be amazed at how open and light your face looks! If this is all the grooming you want to do, it will be enough.

How Thick Should my Brows be?

Truly I think this is personal preference. Just as the frame of a painting can be thick, thin, plain or ornate, your brows should enhance and focus attention to your eyes and face. Eyebrows should not shock or surprise other people! Eyebrows also shouldn’t alter your expression making you look angry or surprised all the time. If you follow the natural shape of your brow bone and smile often at yourself while grooming, your natural, beautiful brow shape will emerge.

Advanced Grooming

Once you have your desired brow shape for everyday life, you may wish to enhance it more with cosmetics.

Brow gel will hold hairs in place throughout the day. Brow gel has a wand like mascara and it’s basically hair gel for your brows. Use brow gel to set powder colour.

Mineral Powder Eye Shadow and an Angle Brush can even out colour and fill in sparse areas in your brows. Powder colour is used when you already have hairs and wish to either darken them or fill in areas. Available at Lesada online store.

Eyebrow Pencils are used to draw on brows where there are no hairs at all. If you are using brow pencils, choose a shade lighter than your head hair colour. Take small strokes to mimic tiny hairs and definitely map out a starting, ending and arch point before you begin. Remember brows are like sisters, not twins, so it’s okay if they aren’t perfectly alike. Just be sure to give yourself a neutral expression without a huge arch.

When to Seek Professional Help

Many options are available to combat eyebrow grooming problems. There is waxing, threading, tweezing and tinting available. If you are feeling daunted, I would suggest seeking professional help the very first time you want to groom. This will lay the foundation for future at-home tweezing and give you a guide to follow.

Eyebrow Fails

My twelve year old daughter and her friend were giggling about eyebrows fails they had seen. My daughter said “You don’t want your brows to look like they were sponsored by Nike!” And that there, sums up everything you need to know about brow grooming! I will leave you with some funny pictures I found on the internet…

 

Urge to Purge

Lindsay recounted wistfully the details of a beautiful white pantsuit she used to own. It fit her perfectly and made her feel like a million bucks. But it was lost to a purge.

Ashley had an insanely gorgeous champagne coloured ball gown that had pearls around the bodice. It too, went out to the second hand shop in a wild purge that she regrets to this day.

What possessed these girls to discard their beautiful belongings, then regret it so much?

A Personal Story of Purging

Rachel, a 37 year-old closet crossdresser spent hours online shopping for specialty themed outfits. She wanted the hot mom look – tight leggings, an off-the-shoulder cropped sweat top, bangle bracelets and pink eye shadow. Then there was the ballgown phase – huge hair, tiaras, sparkling chandelier earrings and a sparkly fitted gown with miles of tulle and rhinestones. Oh, and we can’t forget the sexy, businesswoman wardrobe! It wouldn’t be complete without a tight pencil skirt, button down white shirt blouse and a pair of sexy glasses. So much stuff!!!

It was so fun checking the mailbox and having a parcel arrive almost daily!

Exciting Packages!!!

 

Until the credit card bill arrived one day in the mailbox amongst the packages.

Rachel was horrified to see how much she had spent on herself and the ‘silly’ purchases she had made. Most of the things she bought were cheaply made and didn’t even fit right. They had brought a thrill to her when she was opening up the packages, but also stressed her out that someone would find her beautiful things.

She decided “once and for all” that she was never going to shop online again. She decided she was stupid for buying all these girly things and she should just forget it all. Rachel believed she would never be passable. And she definitely would never get a girlfriend if they knew this side of her, she thought.

And in one big fit of self doubt and personal anger, she gathered every last shred of girlyness into a giant garbage bag and drove to the clothing donation bin.

The lid slammed with an echo of finality.

The Reasoning Behind The Purge

Many closet crossdressers, like Rachel, Lindsay and Ashley, are ashamed of their feminine side. They are constantly battling against how they feel inside and how they want people to perceive them as men. They feel that if anyone were to find out they enjoy wearing ballgowns or tiaras or short skirts, their world as they know it would be lost. In their male world they hold down very masculine jobs, such as construction workers and truck drivers, or high powered, high stress careers like lawyers or emergency responders. A lot of crossdressers are also business owners, husbands and fathers. They are ashamed to reveal their feminine longings to others.

Many crossdressers are ashamed of their feminine longings.

It is for this reason, that a purge of all feminine belongings occurs. And sometimes quite often.

The fear of getting caught with a closet full of women’s clothes, wigs, high heels, and other lady-like accessories instigates a mass purge, followed by massive regret.

How to Resist the Urge to Purge

If you are like one of the girls in this article, you are probably wondering how to feel good about your purchases, love your girly belongings and not fight who you truly are. Here are a few tips to overcome the urge to purge.

  • Limit your purchases. When you carefully select items to add to your collection, rather than buying everything in sight, you will feel more confident about your purchases and keep spending habits in check.
  • Don’t buy mix-matched articles. When making a purchase, choose items that will complement each other. If you buy a top, get a skirt to match. You won’t regret having a pile of clothes that look like they were picked out by a three year old girl playing dress up.
  • Store your items lovingly. If your belongings are packed with care, you may be less likely to garbage them.
  • If you are susceptible to purging, write a note to your future self, reminding you how much you love and need those items to be your true, happy self. Place the note with some photos on the top of your bag or on your closet door.
Remind yourself how happy you were when you were being your true self!
  • Tell a trusted friend. When you reveal your secret to just one person, it doesn’t seem as scary.
  • Rent a storage locker. If you are afraid a new girlfriend, wife or parent is going to come across your secret stash, store it somewhere more private, yet still accessible. (Lesada offers storage in London, Ontario for a very nominal fee!)
  • Purge in small quantities. We all make regrettable purchases from time to time, especially online. If you bought items that don’t fit or don’t suit you, get rid of those things. Make sure your next purchases are items that will match and work with your articles that make you feel great.
  • Speak with Leanne, Transformation Maven and Life Coach. If you are fighting the urge to purge because you are ashamed of who you truly are, you are not alone. Leanne specializes in coaching crossdressers to value their self worth and confidence. Book a Free 15 Minute Call or in-depth 60 Minute Life Clarity Call today!

Have you ever regretted a purge? Tell your story in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

Fun Femme Outings! for Crossdressers

No one likes to be all dressed up with no where to go! When you’re dressed up, feeling gorgeous and on top of the world, it’s awesome to keep that feeling alive by enjoying an outing. Sometimes the thrill of dressing is enough to satisfy, but after awhile, you are going to want to share your beautiful self with the world. And if you’ve already enjoyed an outing or two,  I know you will want to do more and more with your femininity. So read on to get some new ideas for Fun Femme Outings!

A Hesitant Outing

If you’ve never dared to go out before, it’s time you did! Here are a few basics just to get your high-heeled foot out the door.

  • Go out on your back deck, balcony or stand inside the garage with the big door open. Breathe deeply for 5-10 minutes and smile at the world.
  • Take your car for a short drive, even if it’s at night, around town.
  • Take a walk to the mailbox, corner store or nearest intersection.

An Alone Outing

Once you’ve mastered leaving the house, you’ll want to spend some time testing your limits and building your confidence on a more thrilling outing. Here are some fun things you can do alone, without needing to involve anyone from the outside world.

  • Go to a park, sit on a bench and read a book or walk your dog.
  • Go to a large store or mall and wander around, you don’t need to buy anything. You don’t even need to go in, just stand in the parking lot!
  • Go to a drive-thru and place your order. Have cash and a smile ready for the cashier.
  • Go to the bank machine, dry cleaners, return your library books, or do any other regular errands that are simple and routine to you.

A Confidence Building Outing

The fun and thrills can really start to mount when you have the confidence to interact with other people! These people will probably be strangers, but make sure you look at them, speak up so they can hear you and smile, smile, smile! Remember you are not ashamed of who you are. What you are doing is not illegal and you have every right to live your life the way you want to. So, go, have fun and be proud of who you are!

  • Go to a cafe and sit in the front window.
  • Go shopping and try stuff on, make a purchase if your budget allows.
  • Visit an art gallery, museum, tourist attraction or point of interest.
  • Attend a seminar or talk geared for women.
  • Go to a nightclub.
  • Visit a salon for a mani/pedi.

A Making Friends Outing

Going out alone can be thrilling, but after awhile, it can seem routine. You’ll start wishing you had a friend to shop with, eat with, laugh with. Consider the friends you already have. Can you, or have you, revealed your true self to any of them? Would they be willing to go out with you? Try these tips to have a fun experience with others.

  • Book a Girl’s Day Out with Leanne from Lesada.
  • Find some new friends in your area from online sources or social media. Be sure they are local though, so you can actually go out with them.
  • Revisit all those places you went to alone and start talking to other people who are there and make friends with them.

The Ultimate Outing

Once you have confidence, a smile on your face, the taste of new thrilling experiences and friends at your side, the world is yours for the taking! You will no longer consider your outings as “Femme Outings,” but rather just outings and fun times. Your outings will be a way of life and you will wonder how it was ever scary or difficult to step out onto your front porch.

  • Attend a group event or support group fun night.
  • Travel to a convention, such as Fabulous at the Falls, Gal’s Spring Fling, WildSide Las Vegas, TG Detroit, etc.
  • Get your girlfriends together for a sleepover. Go to a hotel, cottage or resort.
  • Party it up at a club.
  • Host a direct sales shopping night party.
  • Throw a movie night with the girls.
  • Go bowling, play laser tag or mini golf with a bunch of friends.
  • Give each other makeovers and giggle about boys like a bunch of teenagers!

No matter what stage you are at in your Outing Confidence Level, just have fun! Life is way too short to worry about what others think. Make your own choices, stretch your own limits and Step Out in Confidence!

Leave a comment below describing your Fun Femme Outing experiences!

Tap Into Your Women’s Intuition

Women’s Intuition is a powerful gut feeling you can experience when your body and mind are in alignment. Women are often more in tune with their bodies than men through their menstrual cycles, pregnancies and menopause. Therefore, this sensation is often referred to as “Women’s Intuition.” So, if you were raised as a boy, is it possible to experience “Women’s Intuition?” It sure is! Read on to discover how to tap into your Women’s Intuition.

A More In-Depth Look At Women’s Intuition

What is Intuition?

Intuition is that gut feeling, that knowing, that something is as it is, without being told or even without using any facts. Some examples of this are:

  • Getting a text message from your best friend that says ‘hey’. And inherently knowing that there’s a deep sigh attached to it or if they are in a good mood.
  • Feeling a prickle on the back of your neck when someone is watching you from behind.
  • Feeling ill at the thought of going to work because you just know that it’s going to be a stressful day.
  • Being able to tell a woman is pregnant before she even knows herself.
  • Feeling like you need to switch careers because you can foresee that times are changing.

Notice how all of these examples are more feelings than logical facts. Women’s Intuition is tapping in to your feelings and thoughts to form an opinion and make decisions.

How to Tap Into Your Women’s Intuition

To be able to tap into your Women’s Intuition, your mind and body must be in tune with each other. There are several ways you can achieve alignment. Choose one or two of these examples to begin with, whichever ones you think you will enjoy the most.

  • Journalling – Journalling before bed or before you begin your day helps to dump out your worries, your excitements, your to-do lists and anything else that might get in the way of listening to your body. You don’t have to use a fancy journal, (although I believe lovely pages create lovely thoughts.) or an expensive pen, just get your thoughts out of your head!
  • Yoga – If you’re rolling your eyes, wait a second! Yoga will help stretch out all the kinks in your body. Yoga encourages rhythmic breathing and forces you to get in touch with the movements your body is craving. If you’ve never done yoga before, or need to go at a slow pace in the comfort of your own home, check out Yoga for Self Respect with Adriene. She will definitely have you hooked on yoga and in tune with yourself in 20 minutes, even if you’ve hated it in the past.
  • Thought Provoking Meditations – Get tuned in, turned on and tapped in to your inner vibrations with meditations like Abraham Hicks. Listen before bed, while driving, or instead of checking emails and rushing around. Get a new perspective on your thoughts.
  • Follow the Signs from Universe – Women’s Intuition becomes easier when you start paying attention to signs from a source that is greater than you. If people are always suggesting you follow a certain path, stop resisting! Go where you are clearly being pushed and soon you will intuitively know the direction in which you should head.

Live in the Moment

Just for today, for the 12-15 hours that you give yourself between sleep, LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

Live like this is the only day you will ever have.

Do things that empower you.

Do things to make you smile.

Do things that make you fly.

Say things that empower others.

Make someone else smile.

Uplift another so they fly.

When you live in the moment, you will be in tune, intuitively, creating a life in alignment with a higher sense of self. This is Women’s Intuition, and it is such a powerful experience!

Have you ever experienced Women’s Intuition? Leave a comment about your experience below.

Managing Femme Outings for Crossdressers

Are you nervous about taking an en femme outing? Do you worry about all the planning that seems necessary in advance?

I had the pleasure of speaking with Harietta during her free 15 minute scheduled call. Harietta said to me, “Let’s face it, we all love enhancing our inner femme.  But I dread the notion of being “clocked” or “read” as a man while wearing a dress in public. I feel my life would collapse if I was recognized in public for the true man I am. So, as a crossdresser, I have learned to ‘manage’ my outings.” Even though Harietta wants to keep her femme identity secret, she doesn’t let it deter her from going out in public and having fun!

Harietta went on to explain everything she does to ease her nervousness and boost her confidence when going out en femme.

Managing Femme Outings

What exactly does it mean to “Manage” your outings?

Thinking of your outing as a well choreographed experience will relieve stress and therefore enhance your outing. Planning everything in advance will ensure you haven’t forgotten anything or get caught off guard by something as simple as needing to use the washroom.

Several Days in Advance of Your Outing

Harietta advises,

  • Plan your outing – “I always know where I’ll be driving, where I’ll be parking, where I’ll be going, where I’ll be eating and where I’ll be peeing. Yahoo or Google Maps are great for this. Scout the place out in drab before. While out, you will need to use the ladies washroom, so make sure you know where it is.” Or, choose a small cafe that has only one washroom.
  • Wear your shoes around the house. Sometimes shoes need time to mold to your feet and you might need time to re-familiarize yourself with walking in heels.
  • Take extra special care of your skin days before and exfoliate the night before your outing so that there is no redness blasting through your foundation.
  • Consider heading out of town – If you really need to keep your identity secret, consider travelling out of town for a day or even two for a worry-free  romp.
  • Tucking Tip!  “If you insist on tucking you must practice it well at home. And you should spend some real time tucked in guy/drab mode to test your system.  It may take time to get to the point where twenty minutes in the car is not torture. When you go out en femme and tucked, make sure you have some regular undies and some wipes. Also consider that if you tuck those boys up there it displaces your bladder. Tight gaffs and undies make it worse. So limit the liquids, especially coffee, before you tuck.”

The Day of the Outing

  • Look your best “No matter how much I’ve paid for it, or if I have done it myself, I will not go out with sub-par hair and makeup, even from a pro. I worry about getting noticed if it’s not right, and it distracts from my enjoyment of the episode. I always tell the receptionist about my gender fluidity in advance.”
  • Pack Extra- “Always have a full set of man clothes and makeup remover in the car with a big blanket or comforter to change under in case things go south and you have to bail or answer a family emergency.”
  • Make a checklist of every item you take with you on your outing. Harietta reported she’s gone nuts wondering where her lip plumper went when she hadn’t actually included it in her kit!
  • Check the weather and traffic reports to avoid tie-ups and delays, especially if you have decided to take a your excursion to another city.

And the Most Important Tips…

  • HAVE FUN! 
  • Take a ton of photos!
  • Talk to people!
  • Do something you’ve always wanted to do!
  • Be yourself!

Hopefully, armed and prepared for the best you will be able to maximize your femme time and really enjoy your outing, while boosting your confidence at the same time.

Do you have any great tips on how you manage your outings? Leave a comment below!

How to Wig Care

wig display

Caring for your wig is simple if done regularly and properly. No matter if your wig is “cheap” or more expensive, you can extend it’s life using these easy care instructions.

How to Brush Your Wig

Using a wide-tooth comb or brush, comb from the tips of hair to the cap. Do not yank knots from top to bottom! You will lose hairs this way.

wide tooth brush
Use a plastic open-tooth brush or comb on your wig

Work in small sections to remove knots and tangles. If it’s matted underneath, turn the cap inside out and comb from back to front. To make the job easier,  hang wig on a wig stand, stair newel post or other object so both of your hands are free.

 

Turn wig inside out to comb tangles underneath

How to Wash Your Wig

You should wash your wig after 8-10 wearings or if you have been sweating while wearing your wig.

  1. Add shampoo to a basin of COLD water to create a lather.
  2. Soak wig in shampoo water for 5-10 minutes, stirring gently. DO NOT twist or tangle your wig.
  3. After soaking, remove wig from basin, squeezing from top to bottom to remove excess water. DO NOT twist or wring out water, just squeeze.
  4. Rinse thoroughly under running water until all shampoo is removed. Squeeze water out, roll in a towel and squeeze again.
  5. Spray with conditioner (about 9-15 pumps depending on length of wig) This softens hair and reduces static.
  6. Shake the wig vigorously to disperse conditioner and remove any excess water.
  7. Lay flat on a towel to dry.
  8. Comb and re-style after wig is completely dry.

Watch the Video

How to Re-Style Your Wig

After washing, any curls or waves that were in your wig should bounce back. Wind small clumps of hair around your fingers to encourage curls back into place when hair is still a little damp. You may want to try a styling tool, such as a curling iron or straightener, but test a small piece of hair first for heat resistance. If you have any loose hairs in your hair brush from brushing, use those for your test.

Watch the Video

How to Store Your Wig

Between wearings, there are a couple ways you can store your wig to keep it clean, static free and in good shape. If your wig is short, turn it inside out and place into a zip-closure bag or box. If your wig is long, stuff the cap with tissue paper, wrap a hairnet around the outside and place in a zip-closure bag or box. You may also wish to display your wig on a wig display stand or mannequin head if you wear it often.

 

 

 

 

Feminizing Your Office Crossdresser Tips

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to tell if a man or woman occupies a space? In most instances you can make the distinction immediately, but maybe you can’t lay your finger on exactly what elements comprise those differences. Read on to discover what nuances and minor touches you can add to your work space to give a more feminine impression.

Leave Personal Care Items Out

Feminizing your office immediately is as simple as leaving your personal care items in plain site on your desk. Items such as hand cream, emery boards, tube of lipstick or chap stick and snack bars/fruit have high impact in a subtle way. A sweater on the back of your chair or an extra pair of heels under your desk reinforces that a woman is occupying the space.

Use Feminine Desk Accessories

This seems like a no-brainer, but how you store your generic office items really makes a world of difference in the distinction between masculine and feminine. Women tend to display a lot more items than men do, giving a more cluttered feel to the space. If you usually keep your pens, scissors and stapler in a drawer, feminize your office by putting items in a cup on top of your desk instead. The cup doesn’t have to be covered in flowers, it could be a plain glass jar, just setting them out creates a feminine atmosphere. Other more feminine things to display include girly tissue boxes, softly coloured binders, desk calendar with lovely photos or inspirational quotes, some little knick-knacks and nice baskets to store your loose papers.

Display office items in a cup

Feminize your Office with Living Things

Women are nurtures. Add a living element to your space to heighten the sense of a woman being there. It could be as simple as a cactus or small houseplant or more complex like a Betta fish in a bowl or vase with a plant. If you can’t keep a plant alive or aren’t allowed to keep pets in your office, get a plastic plant instead, it still gives the same illusion that you are caring for something. Just be sure to dust it regularly and actually care for it!

 

Bring your Family & Friends into the Decor

Post your child’s artwork somewhere in your office where others can see it. If you have a home office, put it up where you can see it and change it regularly. You can also add photo frames on your desk or a shelf. When selecting a frame, choose a light colour like white or cream and one with rounded, soft edges. The subject matter of the photo should include a fun time with friends, family members or your pet.

Display your child’s art

Write Non-Work Related Stuff on your Calendar

Women write everything on their calendars! Write other people’s birthdays, write “My Birthday!” on your own birthdate! Make to do lists or doodle on the edges. Women even mark their calendar with a private symbol that means they started their period. When someone glances at your calendar, it should have at least 5 non-work related items on it per month.

Display Quotes and Inspiration

This has got to be one of the most feminine things you can add to your work space. And of course, you can’t just have one! You need a whole bunch of cluttered inspiration hanging off your computer screen, inside a cabinet door and tacked onto your bulletin board. Choose quotes or mantras that speak to you and pair them with images that inspire. If you don’t know how to get started, purchase a daily tear-off calendar and slowly build up a collection of your favourites. Stick them all around you and never take them down, just add, add, add! Other things you can display might be ticket stubs, postcards, notes from other people or other peoples’ business cards.

Display photos, quotes, memorabilia on your bulletin board

As you can see, there are a lot of subtle ways to add femininity into your personal work space. If you follow these simple tips, feminizing your office will be easy! Leave your tips in the comments area below!

 Take the next step on your feminization journey with an office feminizing analysis! Contact Lesada for this service today!

 

 

Dating Tips for Crossdressers

Dating Tips for Crossdressers

Let’s face it: Dating is tough. Dating is stressful. Dating sometimes makes you just want to stay single. These feelings can multiply if you are a crossdresser or are transgender. But there is definitely hope. Many couples enjoy a successful relationship that includes crossdressing. There are several key factors that were put in place to have this success. Read on to find out how you can enrich your dating life and give your whole self to a new relationship.

Know Yourself

Before you put yourself out there in the dating world, get to know yourself. Dating sites ask key questions on a profile builder and you need to know those answers! Have some hobbies and interests, create memories and experiences so you have exciting stories to share. Be involved in your community or career. If you want to find Mr. or Ms. Right, it’s only fair that you become Mr. or Ms. Right. If you are down and unhappy or projecting negativity into the world it will show on your profile and you will be passed over whether you are a crossdresser or not. People want to date fun people!  If you aren’t in a happy place, get help from a coach to change your perspective.

Be Open

All successful relationships that include crossdressing attribute this success to being open and honest. If you are hiding some aspect of yourself because you think it is shameful, then others will deem it to be shameful. Crossdressing is very common and is not shameful. It is a part of who you are and if you want someone to love you completely, you have to give them the opportunity to know you completely. Openness is a must for all relationships. If you enjoy crossdressing regularly, you may want to include some of your photos on your profile. Just as someone may enjoy running marathons or cooking or playing roller derby, you enjoy crossdressing and your photos should be a good indication of those interests.

Don’t Talk About Sexual Interests

Even if you are into crossdressing purely for sexual enjoyment, you do not need to reveal this to a potential partner in the beginning. People get turned off by sexual discussions when you haven’t even met or had an intimate encounter. You may feel this is an important part of being open, but in the beginning it’s not at all. If you want a long-term, loving relationship with someone, you need to know them first. It’s important to first find out if they can carry on a conversation, if you have similar interests, if you even get along. Once the chemistry is there and you want to share yourself more intimately with someone, you can lead up to sexual fantasies. A good rule to follow is do not talk about sex with someone until you have actually had sex with them!

Be Ready to Answer Questions

Dating is a chance to get to know a potential partner before making a commitment to be exclusive. If you reveal your feminine side to a potential partner, be prepared to answer questions and make sure your answers are cast in a positive light. Don’t be down on yourself or belittle yourself. Tell them why you love it, get excited about who you are and explain how it’s going to create a better relationship between the two of you. People shy away from the unknown. If you answer questions that your partner has, they will be more understanding and accepting. Be sure to tell your date any major future feminine plans (for example if you want GRS), so they are prepared and can ask more questions before making a decision about your future together.

Ask the Right Questions

Numerous times, I have been asked “Would you date a crossdresser?” This is absolutely not the make or break factor when it comes to dating. That’s like asking “Would you date a mountain climber?” I have absolutely no idea. Do they make me laugh? Are they good with kids? Do they have a job? Do they like going to antique markets? Because those things are all important to me too. Ask questions to find out what your date enjoys and if you enjoy those things too.

Date Outside of “Your Type”

I was looking for a classy, clean-cut man but I met someone who has a long beard, tattoos on his head and has no clue what a charcuterie board is! But, we are a hit and engaged to be married! Don’t be so stuck on a certain look or type of person that you miss out on an amazing potential partner. In a way, you are possibly asking your dates to date outside of their type with you, so give others a chance for yourself.

Live in the Moment

Often when dating, people get caught up in the future. People worry about distance and how would it work in the long term. Or people wonder if their friends and family would like their date. People also worry about getting married. None of those things matter when you are just dating. If you like someone and they like you back, all those other factors will just naturally sort themselves out. The Universe will align to allow what’s right for you to fall into place. When dating, live in the moment, enjoy the present with your partner and have fun being you as you get to know who they are.

With these elements in place, you will have fun, live in the moment and enjoy dating with a new perspective! Be you! Have fun! Enjoy Dating!

Comment below on your dating experiences and successes. What helped you find a partner or what struggles are you facing? Do you have any funny stories to share? Let others reader know in the comments below.

Shoe Shopping Guide for Crossdressers

Your Online Shoe Shopping Guide

With so much selection, how do you even begin to decide what shoes will help you put your best foot forward? Use the following filters to walk with ease through the selection process from toe to heel!

Shoe Sizing

If you can, it’s best to have your foot measured for the perfect fit. If you know your size in men’s wear, your size will most likely be 1.5-2 sizes larger in ladies.

Occasion

Next, it is best to decide when and where you will most often be wearing your new shoes. This will really help narrow down the type of shoe you are looking for, thus simplifying your search. It’s no use looking at sandals or open toe shoes if you plan to wear your shoes in the winter! Or, if you want to wear your shoes with a formal gown, you do not have to search among ballet flats.

Shoe Colour

Deciding on the colour you want ahead of time will also filter out a great deal in the shoe selection process. If you want a pair of shoes that will go with most outfits, stick with black, brown or beige. These colours aren’t nearly as exciting, but can be dressed up with accessories (see below). If you want a pair of statement shoes, try red, hot pink or electric blue.

With these basic filters in place, your online shoe shopping experience will be streamlined so you can have fun looking at all the options! Read on to see what else will help you find the perfect shoe so you can put your best foot forward!

Toe Style

Women’s shoes have a wide range of toe styles to suit everyone’s desires. Toe styles include:

  • Peep Toe: a closed upper portion on the toe area, with a small opening to show off the toes. It is recommended to wear peep toe in the summer with toe nail polish.
  • Closed Toe: no opening at all in toe area
  • Rounded Toe: closed toe that is rounded off, will shorted the look of your foot
  • Pointed Toe: closed toe that extends beyond the natural toe line, making the foot appear longer than it actually is.

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Shoe Body Style

Body type should hold as much importance as heel and toe style. Unfortunately you can’t filter out body style when searching online, but keep it in mind when you are looking. Body style of a shoe really affects the look of the length of your foot. If you are wanting to diminish the length of your foot, go for styles with straps. Straps will break up the expanse of your foot. Styles to look for are T-Strap, Thong or ones that have designs along the edge (see below). Also, you could go for an open body shoe, but add an ankle strap. An ankle strap will create the illusion of less space between ankle and leg.

Alternatively, if you are wanting to make your feet and legs look longer, opt for an open shoe style that allows a continuous space from toe to leg, such as the classic Pump or Stiletto.

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Heel Style

The last element to look for when choosing a shoe, is heel style. Super tall high heels may be sexy, but not if you are wobbling around and breaking your ankles! Know your limits and choose a heel style that you will feel comfortable in.

Platform shoes add 3.5-5″ to your height, so if you are wanting to down-play your stature, stick with a 1-2″ kitten heel or go up to 3″ with a pump or stiletto. If you want to dress up a pair of jeans or a cute little skirt, a ballet flat will be all you need to help you zip around town to run errands.

You should never drive while wearing a platform shoe or stiletto, as your heel could easily catch under the car pedal or on the floor mats. If you are driving to a function where you are going to wear heels, toss them in a bag to slip on later and wear a more practical shoe to drive and walk in.

Shoe Accessories

Check out all the fun shoe accessories available to turn your basic pumps into something stylish and fun! Choose from rhinestones, feathers, pom-poms, bows and more to clip on and help you put your best foot forward!

Happy Shoe Shopping!