Getting Past the Past

There’s a beautiful song I love called Past the Past by Jess Moskaluke. Please listen to it now… I think we can all relate in someway, can’t we? Today I’d like to focus on a few of the specific lines. As someone who can very much relate to this song, both personally and on behalf of clients, I want to examine why it’s hard to get Past the Past. And as a Life Coach, I can say that change is possible and you can do this!

Too Scared to be Happy Now

The fear of success keeps many people from starting their own business, going out on dates, making new friends or moving to a new city. What if we are shot down? Or worse, what if we are successful? If we start doing new things, that’s going to more learning, more new people, more money spent. Too often we cling to the familiar. It’s so much easier to live with what we know how to manage. We tell ourselves that it’s always been this way, how can things change?

People who are unhappy might not even know it!

Many of my crossdressing clients are afraid to wear makeup for the first time in case they don’t end up looking pretty. It’s easier to not know what they could look like, rather than destroy the fantasy with what could possibly be, a terrible reality check. But being scared to take that next step holds them back from being truly happy with themselves. It holds them back from being themselves in public, making new friends and experiencing ultimate success.

People I Depended on Didn’t Show Up

This line really hit me in the gut. When I was going through my divorce with an abusive husband, I lost a lot of friends. Mostly because they weren’t there for me during a very difficult time. I couldn’t get over the fact that my best friend wouldn’t even talk to me on the phone. She wouldn’t get together with me or check in to see how I was doing. She told me later that she didn’t know what to do. So she did nothing. My family was there, but they didn’t know how to support me and encourage me in a way to help me grow. Everyone was emotional and their feelings and hurts hindered my growth and ability to move on and away from the past.

My crossdressing clients also describe this hurt. Many crossdressers stay in the closet out of fear of hurting the people who love them. They feel that they can’t be happy when they are changing someone else’s life so drastically against their wishes.

You Give me Love I Didn’t Earn

I turned to Internet chat forums and social platforms to find new people to get me through my difficult times. Those people came through for me. They loved me where I was at and were there when I needed an impartial ear to listen. But I was always wary of why they were there. My own friends weren’t there, so what did these people expect of me in return? As it turns out, nothing! These people came to me with love. They had been there too and wanted nothing more than to give back in appreciation of others who had helped them through their own struggles. These strangers didn’t care about my past because it didn’t affect them or their relationship with me. Quite unlike the people who had known me for years, who were very emotionally invested in me.

Re-Write All My History

It is possible to re-write history. We can learn from our mistakes and tell others about them. We can change our thought patterns about certain topics or experiences. We can re-write someone else’s future while healing our own past. And once we have moved into true happiness, we can look back and be grateful for the difficulty. Because without it, we wouldn’t have met those new people, moved to a new city or started that business.

I Just Gotta Get Past the Past

Easier said than done, isn’t it? But trust me, it is possible. And once you do, a wonderful, amazing world of confidence and freedom is handed to you! Yes, it is handed to you. Once you get Past the Past.

You must be willing to get over the fear of being happy, put your faith and trust in strangers, seek change and re-write your thought patterns and old stories you tell yourself.

As a Life Coach, I can guide you through all of these challenges. We will develop customized action plans and take baby steps to take you from hurting paralysis to soaring happiness! I am the one to give you love you didn’t earn and love you for where you are, even if you aren’t loving yourself right now.

If you want to get Past the Past and get help from someone who truly understands you and what you are going through, book your first session today! It’s only $35! Learn more at lesada.ca/coaching

Creative Ways to Save Money!

Creative Ways to Save Money

Creative Ways to Save Money!

“A penny saved is a penny earned” is an old phrase that encourages us to save money and become wealthy. But these days most people are spending more than they are earning, falling into debt, depression and anxiety. These feelings lead to more spending as they try to make themselves feel better. If you feel like you’re walking on a tight rope, balancing between just getting by and falling into a bottomless pit, read on for some great tips to improve your finances and your well-being.

Examine All Your Expenses

Write every single thing down that you spend money on in the course of a week or month. You will see patterns and some things may surprise you. Do you have expenses coming out of your account automatically that you no longer need? Do you spend more than you thought on eating fast food or coffee? Are you more generous than your budget allows when it comes to lending money to a friend or donating? Really examine those expenses and determine what can easily be cut or pared down. Sometimes even the chore of having to write down small expenses will be a deterrent to spending on little, draining things.

Bundle to Save

If you found that you were spending money on a lot of insurance, home services (such as internet, cable, phone), classes or magazines, bundle to save! Get a subscription to our favourite magazine instead of buying from a store, use the same provider for insurance and home services as they usually give a discount for multiple products. And get a membership to your gym, pool or dance studio instead of paying for individual classes. You can usually save a ton of money by being loyal to the services, products and companies you already enjoy.

Shop Around

If your attempts at bundling with current services didn’t work, shop around to get a better deal elsewhere. Shop around for groceries, clothes, shoes, home decor, car repairs and so on. Pretty much everything can be purchased second hand or at discount stores. Often the thrill of finding a deal can improve your state of mind as well as your bank balance.

Improve Your Health

Improving your health and mental wellbeing can greatly increase your cash flow. When you’re depressed you can’t work as well, you might even need to take time off work for your health which reduces your income and to save money. Poor health leads to taking costly medications for cholesterol, blood pressure and diabetes. Eating out at fast food restaurants instead of preparing meals at home is also a big knock to the bank account. Examine your health habits and find ways to cut costs as well as your waistline.

Seek Help from a Professional

Visit your bank or get advice from a financial advisor if you are serious about saving money. These are free services designed to help you get out of debt and into saving and living  worry free about money. They will help you stick to your budget, save and pay down debt all at the same time. Do not be embarrassed by your situation. 

Share Your Successes

It’s really motivating to share what’s going well! Comment below on how you saved money or increased your income.