Feminizing Your Facebook

Social media is a fast paced world. People will decide in an instant what type of person you are by the profile you project. What does your Facebook profile say about you? Do you want to appear as a natural, feminine woman in real life? Do you want to make connections with real women? Then make sure your online image matches that persona. Read on to discover the do’s and don’ts of feminizing your Facebook so you can attract female friends.

Facebook Photos

Don’t Overdo the Accessories. Many crossdressers tend to go overboard with too much makeup, jewellery, fake nails, lashes and big hair. Choose one aspect of your look to play up, and tone down the rest.

Don’t Wear Stereotypical Crossdresser Fashion. Facebook is not the place to wear fishnet stockings, 5″ heels and lingerie. This fashion screams “I’m a crossdresser!” Women do not wear those things in everyday life and they do not post photos like that on Facebook. Save those photos for private groups where that is allowed. Instead, take photos wearing a nice skirt and blouse, jeans and a t-shirt, or just a head shot with a beautiful smile!

Do Vary Your Settings. Photos should be taken in a variety of settings to give the impression that you are a real woman, doing real, everyday things. Avoid taking photos in the bedroom or bathroom. Instead, take photos of you doing things like going out for dinner or hanging out with friends. If you’re not at that point in your feminization journey, take photos in the living room, on your balcony or porch, out in the garden, or even in your kitchen. No one wants to see your toilet!

take photos in a variety of settings

Don’t Show Photos of your Private Parts! I get so many friend requests from obvious crossdressers who are posed in the face down, bum up position. Another common crossdresser pose is just the legs in stockings and high heels, or a chest/boob shot. Women do not photograph themselves in this manner, nor are they interested in being friends with people who do. If you want to appear as a natural woman on Facebook, you should avoid these poses at all costs.

Avoid stereotypical crossdresser poses

Facebook Profile Attributes

Do Select a Common Name. Another dead giveaway that you are a crossdresser and not a natural woman could be your name. A name like Misty Waters or Suzi Stockings is certainly not a natural woman’s name. While it may be more boring, a natural name will increase your female persona by 100%! Don’t choose a drag queen name unless you are a drag queen!

Do Follow a Variety of Pages and Businesses. It’s public knowledge what pages, groups and interests you have on Facebook. If all you follow is crossdresser interests, you will give off the persona of a crossdresser. Add other interests into the mix. This will expand your profile to appear as a natural woman and increase your chances of connecting with real women. Some womanly things to join in on could be networking groups, mom to mom buy and sell groups, fashion groups, or any of your own interests like fishing, golf, cooking, and so on.

Be Part of the Facebook Community

Do Like and Comment Positively. If you’re trying to attract people to your profile, be positive! Social media is not the platform on which to complain or stir up the pot. Make others feel good about their posts and you will be well on your way to being a natural woman.

Do Contribute to the Groups you Belong to. Contributing in groups is a great way to make connections and new friends. I have met several of my close friends through social media and it’s because we both contributed to groups and found we shared common views and humour. When you put yourself out there, you are bound to make new friends.

Do add a Variety of Friends. Women have a large variety of types of friends on their Facebook friend list. Friends could include business contacts, family, personal friends, friends of friends, people we’ve only met through Facebook or people in the community who we look up to. Check out your friend list and if everyone else is a crossdresser, it’s time to make some more friends with more interests.

Do Positive, Inspiring and Fun! If you want to attract female friends and others on Facebook, you must be a person who emits positivity. If you’re having trouble doing this right now, find some cartoons, positive quotes or articles that you can share until your own positive vibes start flowing.

With these guidelines in place, you will be well on your way to projecting a natural womanly image into the world of social media. What tip did you like best? Comment below! And don’t forget to Like Lesada on Facebook for more great tips!

Join a variety of groups to create a positive Facebook Community

Fun Femme Outings! for Crossdressers

No one likes to be all dressed up with no where to go! When you’re dressed up, feeling gorgeous and on top of the world, it’s awesome to keep that feeling alive by enjoying an outing. Sometimes the thrill of dressing is enough to satisfy, but after awhile, you are going to want to share your beautiful self with the world. And if you’ve already enjoyed an outing or two,  I know you will want to do more and more with your femininity. So read on to get some new ideas for Fun Femme Outings!

A Hesitant Outing

If you’ve never dared to go out before, it’s time you did! Here are a few basics just to get your high-heeled foot out the door.

  • Go out on your back deck, balcony or stand inside the garage with the big door open. Breathe deeply for 5-10 minutes and smile at the world.
  • Take your car for a short drive, even if it’s at night, around town.
  • Take a walk to the mailbox, corner store or nearest intersection.

An Alone Outing

Once you’ve mastered leaving the house, you’ll want to spend some time testing your limits and building your confidence on a more thrilling outing. Here are some fun things you can do alone, without needing to involve anyone from the outside world.

  • Go to a park, sit on a bench and read a book or walk your dog.
  • Go to a large store or mall and wander around, you don’t need to buy anything. You don’t even need to go in, just stand in the parking lot!
  • Go to a drive-thru and place your order. Have cash and a smile ready for the cashier.
  • Go to the bank machine, dry cleaners, return your library books, or do any other regular errands that are simple and routine to you.

A Confidence Building Outing

The fun and thrills can really start to mount when you have the confidence to interact with other people! These people will probably be strangers, but make sure you look at them, speak up so they can hear you and smile, smile, smile! Remember you are not ashamed of who you are. What you are doing is not illegal and you have every right to live your life the way you want to. So, go, have fun and be proud of who you are!

  • Go to a cafe and sit in the front window.
  • Go shopping and try stuff on, make a purchase if your budget allows.
  • Visit an art gallery, museum, tourist attraction or point of interest.
  • Attend a seminar or talk geared for women.
  • Go to a nightclub.
  • Visit a salon for a mani/pedi.

A Making Friends Outing

Going out alone can be thrilling, but after awhile, it can seem routine. You’ll start wishing you had a friend to shop with, eat with, laugh with. Consider the friends you already have. Can you, or have you, revealed your true self to any of them? Would they be willing to go out with you? Try these tips to have a fun experience with others.

  • Book a Girl’s Day Out with Leanne from Lesada.
  • Find some new friends in your area from online sources or social media. Be sure they are local though, so you can actually go out with them.
  • Revisit all those places you went to alone and start talking to other people who are there and make friends with them.

The Ultimate Outing

Once you have confidence, a smile on your face, the taste of new thrilling experiences and friends at your side, the world is yours for the taking! You will no longer consider your outings as “Femme Outings,” but rather just outings and fun times. Your outings will be a way of life and you will wonder how it was ever scary or difficult to step out onto your front porch.

  • Attend a group event or support group fun night.
  • Travel to a convention, such as Fabulous at the Falls, Gal’s Spring Fling, WildSide Las Vegas, TG Detroit, etc.
  • Get your girlfriends together for a sleepover. Go to a hotel, cottage or resort.
  • Party it up at a club.
  • Host a direct sales shopping night party.
  • Throw a movie night with the girls.
  • Go bowling, play laser tag or mini golf with a bunch of friends.
  • Give each other makeovers and giggle about boys like a bunch of teenagers!

No matter what stage you are at in your Outing Confidence Level, just have fun! Life is way too short to worry about what others think. Make your own choices, stretch your own limits and Step Out in Confidence!

Leave a comment below describing your Fun Femme Outing experiences!

Dating Tips for Crossdressers

Dating Tips for Crossdressers

Let’s face it: Dating is tough. Dating is stressful. Dating sometimes makes you just want to stay single. These feelings can multiply if you are a crossdresser or are transgender. But there is definitely hope. Many couples enjoy a successful relationship that includes crossdressing. There are several key factors that were put in place to have this success. Read on to find out how you can enrich your dating life and give your whole self to a new relationship.

Know Yourself

Before you put yourself out there in the dating world, get to know yourself. Dating sites ask key questions on a profile builder and you need to know those answers! Have some hobbies and interests, create memories and experiences so you have exciting stories to share. Be involved in your community or career. If you want to find Mr. or Ms. Right, it’s only fair that you become Mr. or Ms. Right. If you are down and unhappy or projecting negativity into the world it will show on your profile and you will be passed over whether you are a crossdresser or not. People want to date fun people!  If you aren’t in a happy place, get help from a coach to change your perspective.

Be Open

All successful relationships that include crossdressing attribute this success to being open and honest. If you are hiding some aspect of yourself because you think it is shameful, then others will deem it to be shameful. Crossdressing is very common and is not shameful. It is a part of who you are and if you want someone to love you completely, you have to give them the opportunity to know you completely. Openness is a must for all relationships. If you enjoy crossdressing regularly, you may want to include some of your photos on your profile. Just as someone may enjoy running marathons or cooking or playing roller derby, you enjoy crossdressing and your photos should be a good indication of those interests.

Don’t Talk About Sexual Interests

Even if you are into crossdressing purely for sexual enjoyment, you do not need to reveal this to a potential partner in the beginning. People get turned off by sexual discussions when you haven’t even met or had an intimate encounter. You may feel this is an important part of being open, but in the beginning it’s not at all. If you want a long-term, loving relationship with someone, you need to know them first. It’s important to first find out if they can carry on a conversation, if you have similar interests, if you even get along. Once the chemistry is there and you want to share yourself more intimately with someone, you can lead up to sexual fantasies. A good rule to follow is do not talk about sex with someone until you have actually had sex with them!

Be Ready to Answer Questions

Dating is a chance to get to know a potential partner before making a commitment to be exclusive. If you reveal your feminine side to a potential partner, be prepared to answer questions and make sure your answers are cast in a positive light. Don’t be down on yourself or belittle yourself. Tell them why you love it, get excited about who you are and explain how it’s going to create a better relationship between the two of you. People shy away from the unknown. If you answer questions that your partner has, they will be more understanding and accepting. Be sure to tell your date any major future feminine plans (for example if you want GRS), so they are prepared and can ask more questions before making a decision about your future together.

Ask the Right Questions

Numerous times, I have been asked “Would you date a crossdresser?” This is absolutely not the make or break factor when it comes to dating. That’s like asking “Would you date a mountain climber?” I have absolutely no idea. Do they make me laugh? Are they good with kids? Do they have a job? Do they like going to antique markets? Because those things are all important to me too. Ask questions to find out what your date enjoys and if you enjoy those things too.

Date Outside of “Your Type”

I was looking for a classy, clean-cut man but I met someone who has a long beard, tattoos on his head and has no clue what a charcuterie board is! But, we are a hit and engaged to be married! Don’t be so stuck on a certain look or type of person that you miss out on an amazing potential partner. In a way, you are possibly asking your dates to date outside of their type with you, so give others a chance for yourself.

Live in the Moment

Often when dating, people get caught up in the future. People worry about distance and how would it work in the long term. Or people wonder if their friends and family would like their date. People also worry about getting married. None of those things matter when you are just dating. If you like someone and they like you back, all those other factors will just naturally sort themselves out. The Universe will align to allow what’s right for you to fall into place. When dating, live in the moment, enjoy the present with your partner and have fun being you as you get to know who they are.

With these elements in place, you will have fun, live in the moment and enjoy dating with a new perspective! Be you! Have fun! Enjoy Dating!

Comment below on your dating experiences and successes. What helped you find a partner or what struggles are you facing? Do you have any funny stories to share? Let others reader know in the comments below.

Out of the Closet: Relationship Tips for Crossdressers and Transgender Women

Out of the Closet: Relationship Tips for Crossdressers and Transgender Women

Dresses, skirts, lingerie and shoes – where do you put all the shoes?! It doesn’t take long for a closet to fill up. The more cluttered it gets, the harder it is to tell what’s there and what fits beautifully on you.

The same can be said for the metaphorical closet. The longer you keep yourself hidden, the harder it is to see who you really are. That is a great loss to yourself and to your partner. Hiding who you are takes a lot of energy that is better spent on keeping the sparkle in your relationship and enriching your experiences in life. Hiding who you are also causes a lot of stress and unnecessary strain on you and your relationships.

If you are concerned that your secret life will hurt someone you care about, or that they will think less of you, consider instead that they are missing the opportunity of knowing the truly beautiful person you are. You are actually robbing them of the opportunity to love you completely.

The exciting thing about being in love is wanting to know everything you can about the person who makes your heart sing. You want to know their private intimacies, how they think, what turns them on, their history and story that made them who they are. You want to know these things because you love them and want to give them the best. Why would they not want the same of you?

I encourage you to love yourself first. Loving who you are, without shame, loving the whole you, frees your spirit so you can grow to be all that you are meant to be. What a gift to give yourself! What a gift to give your partner!

There are far too many crossdressers and transgender women in the closet. I have heard enough stories about secrets, but I have also heard many stories of success. Secrets hurt and indicate shame. Being yourself is not shameful. It’s time to come out of the closet, clear the clutter and make room for more shoes!

 

Here are some tips from couples on how to incorporate your feminine side into a successful, loving relationship:

  • Great journeys begin with a single step. If you have a huge fantasy of being a woman, full time with your wife, but you haven’t told her yet, start small! Do little things to gradually work up to your goal. Start by painting each other’s toe nails for example. Baby steps, baby steps.
  • Tell her you love her. Assure her that you love her as well as yourself, and that you will be a better partner to her if you don’t have secrets. Let her know that she is still the love of your life, even if you are seeking new friendships.
  • Compromise. Don’t push your partner to go beyond what she is willing to do. This may take a lot of getting used to on her part, especially if you’ve been the same in the relationship for many years.
  • Make it fun! People continue to do things when they are having fun, so be playful and loving while she discovers this new side of you. Maybe she could dress up and be someone different as well while you are en femme. Private secrets between just you too can be very fun!
  • Find friends. Join groups online, attend events or conferences that are non-sexual in nature so she can be assured that you aren’t deviating from your relationship with her.
  • Encourage her to seek out friends who are also in crossdressing/transgender relationships. Crossing Paths is a group just for her.
  • Seek a coach or mediator to guide you through this new phase of your relationship