The Hairstyle For YOU!

As a transgender woman, you may have decided to grow your hair long. During this time, and after it has reached a certain length, you will want to see a hairdresser to have it styled. Read on to learn how to find a hairdresser who understands your needs and how to discuss your desired hairstyle so you get the look you want. We will also look at what hairstyles are best suited for thinning or receding hairlines.

Finding a Stylist

The first step to having a great hairstyle is having a great stylist! Most woman have used the same hairdresser for many years. They have built a bond with their stylist and have placed a lot of trust in them. I have been seeing my stylist, Ashley, for at least 20 years! So of course I turned to her for help with this article. If you see a woman with a great hairstyle, compliment her and ask for a referral. I’m sure she will gladly recommend where she goes. Don’t be surprised if you have to wait over a month to get an appointment though. A good hairdresser is busy and her schedule fills up quickly. Most women make their regular appointments in advance, so be prepared to wait for an opening.

You could also call a well-known salon, local hairdressing school or visit a walk-in only chain store to find a stylist. The only problem with walk-in salons is that you aren’t guaranteed to get the same stylist again, since they don’t take appointments.

Hairstyling on my wedding day. I’d only trust such a special day to a 20 year relationship!

Finding a Hairstyle

Your hairdresser will want to get to know you and what you’re looking for before she begins work on you. It will be best if you go to your appointment with photos. Ashley suggests consulting magazines, Pinterest or other images on the Internet. She also reminds us to be realistic when choosing a style. If your hair is only shoulder length, don’t choose a style that goes to your waist. Or, if you have straight hair, don’t choose a style that plays with a lot of waves and texture. If you are new to long hair, you may want to just start with a simple cut because blow drying, styling, curling, straightening, hairspraying and colouring take a lot of time and skill to maintain.

Ashley also recommends that you have an honest discussion with your hairdresser about your needs and wants as a transgender woman. If you aren’t far into your transitional journey, or are experiencing more masculine hair issues, make sure you have an open and honest discussion about it.

Hairstyle photos, along with the expertise of your hairdresser will go a long way in achieving the look you desire.

Best Hairstyle for Thinning Hair

Ashley recommends combing hair back to cover a thinning crown. You can “tease” hair back to add volume and lift in upper thinning areas. You may also want to consider extensions. If the area in concern is very thin, small hairpieces are available to glue or pin in place. Make sure if you are getting extensions or a hairpiece that it is an exact match to your natural hair colour.

If your sides are thinning, a side part with swooping bangs will work with and dramatize your look. You could even grow your hair long on one side and shave the other side for a dramatic effect.

Side part and side styling will work well with receding sides.

Put your faith in your stylist and she will encourage an amazing hairstyle for you.

How Much Does it Cost?

When it comes to hairstyles, men and women are not equal in the cost. Woman can expect to pay at least $35 for a haircut, with additional add-ons for blow drying and styling. If you want your hair coloured or extensions applied, it can be well over $100. Have the discussion with your stylist before she does anything so there are no surprises. Plan to spend at least 45 minutes at your appointment for just a cut. This includes time for washing, cutting, drying and styling, and of course some gossiping!

Caring for Your Hairstyle at Home

After leaving the salon with your beautiful new look, you will need some products to assist in home styling. Some basic products to have on hand are hairspray, voluminizing spray or powder, bobby pins, and of course a comb or brush and shampoo & conditioner. With so many products and brands available, consult your hairdresser for what’s best for your hair. She may have products available for you to purchase there, or you can visit your local drugstore or beauty supply shop.

Recently I made an appointment with Ashley just so she could teach me a few ways to style my hair. I paid her for her time even though she didn’t cut my hair or do anything different to it. It was well worth it to gain knowledge and confidence. I was feeling like a little kid, just putting my hair in a barrette, but now I feel like a polished woman in my look.

When it comes to hairstyles, communication is key. Be honest about what you want. Tell your hairdresser what you don’t like and any problems you are experiencing. Work together to come up with a manageable beautiful solution. Build a relationship with each other and don’t forget to have fun with the process!

More About Ashley

Ashley, is an inspiration to me. She has a tattoo that says “I am the strongest girl I know.” And it’s true. She is the strongest girl I know. She is also the most accepting, fun and beautiful woman I know. So of course I would recommend her to you. You can find Ashley at Hairport & Layover Luxuries in Simcoe, Ontario. The phone number there is 519 426-8292 and Ashley’s facebook page is Hairport & Layover Luxuries. She would be more than happy to help you with your transition in hairstyles and makeup.

How to Keep Your Pretty Things Pretty!

Let’s face it, I know some some of you have all of your secret, pretty things hidden away in a duffle bag in the back reaches of your darkest closet! But when you get to pull them out, wouldn’t it be lovely if they were still beautiful and not a dusty, wrinkled mess? Here are a few tips to get organized and be pretty at the same time!

Choosing a Bag

Your bag should have several side pockets and a large interior opening. In this case, size does matter! Choose a bag that is much bigger than what you think you will need. This will allow your items enough room so they don’t get crushed as well as give you room to expand your collection. You will also want to get a cosmetic roll up bag. These bags have multiple pockets and roll up into a tight compact bag.   One more bag to invest in would be a velvet shoe bag. This will protect shoes from scratches. It will also protect all the rest of your items from getting poked by a high heel or getting dirty from the shoes.

Dividing Your Items

Separate your items first. Place all small items in a cosmetic bag. Items for this bag include jewellery, scarves, pantyhose, makeup, hair and nail accessories. Put shoes in a separate shoe bag. Wigs and breast forms should be stored in a box or zip closure bag with tissue paper. And last, separate your clothing, preferably into outfits. Skirts with blouses or slacks and tops that you wear together. This will save you time if you only have a a short time to dress, your outfits will be ready and waiting for you. You may also wish to place bras, panties and other lingerie all together in a pretty lace bag.

Packing Your Bag

Use the exterior pockets for lingerie, pantyhose and scarves. The cosmetic roll up will fit into the exterior end pockets. Reserve one side of your bag interior for heavier items like shoes and boxes. Carefully wrap all clothing in tissue paper and roll tightly. This not only saves you a ton of space, but, when done carefully, minimizes many wrinkles. There’s nothing worse than finally being able to slip into that silky blouse and finding it a wrinkled disgrace. Place clothing in other side of the bag interior. This should leave room on top for your purse or other accessories. One last thing you may want to add to your bag is a photo album. Include photos of yourself or inspirational photos to help you add to your secret bag.

Place a checklist on the very top of everything in your bag. This will assist you next time you dress so you don’t worry about leaving anything behind. Make sure you update your list as you add or delete items. This is especially helpful with small items like cosmetics and hair accessories.

Create a checklist to make sure you haven’t forgotten to pack anything after dressing.

Storing Your Bag

Finding a place to store your bag may be the trickiest part. Choose a location that is easily accessible. You want to be able to bring it out whenever you want. Easily accessible places may include a closet, your car, the garage, basement or other spot on your property. Just make sure your bag isn’t going to end up taking on a musty smell. Perfume doesn’t cover odours! Inserting a bag of lavender or freshening pouch in your bag will aide in odours.

If you don’t feel comfortable storing your bag on your property, you can rent a locker, use Lesada’s bag storage service or keep things at your office or a friend’s place. Where there is a will, there’s a way!

If you need to undress quickly, make sure to go back later and repack your bag with care for the next time you get to dress. Honouring the beauty of your clothes and belongings will strengthen the confidence you have in your own beauty. Taking the time to pack your bag with care will reduce stress during your special time of getting ready.

I hope you enjoyed this article, please comment below your tips for storing and packing your pretty things.

Eyebrow Grooming Essentials

I thought the eyebrow craze was going to be a quick phase, but it’s going as strong as ever! Here are some quick and easy pointers to make your brow grooming easy and gorgeous!

The Purpose of Eyebrows

Humans have eyebrows to keep sweat and dirt from getting into our eyes. Eyebrows also convey a  lot of expression when we are communicating with people. So when grooming your brows, remember to keep actual hairs in place and keep your brows in a neutral arch so you don’t look angry, surprised or confused all the time!

Tools Needed for Eyebrow Grooming

A basic pair of tweezers is the most essential for at home grooming. You may also want a small comb or disposable mascara wand to train hairs in the right direction. Other supplies you may wish to use are brow gel, and either mineral powder eye shadow, applied with an angle brush or a brow pencil. If you choose to use makeup, be sure to choose a shade the same colour as your natural eyebrow, and no sparkles. Numbing creams can be found at a drug store if you have a low pain tolerance. Typically, hair removal hurts more the first few times, then your body is accustomed to it, and it’s not so bad.

Where to Begin

Eyebrow grooming chart from cosmopolitan.com

Take a pencil and place one end at the edge of your nostril, angled straight up beside your eye (A). Where the edge of the pencil sits is where your brow begins. If you tilt the pencil to the outer corner of your eye, this is where your eyebrow ends (D). Tilt the pencil one more time, through the pupil of your eye, and this is where your arch should be (B,C). You may wish to mark these points with a brow pencil or other removable marker.

Now you have a basic outline of where to groom.

My Eyebrows are so Bushy!

If, after doing this, you discover your eyebrows are straight across, growing onto your eyelids, or way over on the side of your face, don’t worry! If you want to groom your eyebrows gradually, just make sure you do it evenly on both sides. Brow grooming will help open your eye and your face. It will give you more room to put eye makeup. Grooming  will also make you look younger, as heavy brows can weigh down and darken your eyes.

As this photo illustrates, you should remove hairs outside of the pink dot area. Hairs above the nose, between eyes should be removed first. Hairs growing on your eyelid and under brow bone should be removed. And last, remove any hairs extending beyond the outer corner of your eye. Groom from below, not the top of your brow, unless you have stray hairs growing on your forehead area. Remember to stand back, away from the mirror, frequently, to examine your results.

Once these hairs are removed, you will be amazed at how open and light your face looks! If this is all the grooming you want to do, it will be enough.

How Thick Should my Brows be?

Truly I think this is personal preference. Just as the frame of a painting can be thick, thin, plain or ornate, your brows should enhance and focus attention to your eyes and face. Eyebrows should not shock or surprise other people! Eyebrows also shouldn’t alter your expression making you look angry or surprised all the time. If you follow the natural shape of your brow bone and smile often at yourself while grooming, your natural, beautiful brow shape will emerge.

Advanced Grooming

Once you have your desired brow shape for everyday life, you may wish to enhance it more with cosmetics.

Brow gel will hold hairs in place throughout the day. Brow gel has a wand like mascara and it’s basically hair gel for your brows. Use brow gel to set powder colour.

Mineral Powder Eye Shadow and an Angle Brush can even out colour and fill in sparse areas in your brows. Powder colour is used when you already have hairs and wish to either darken them or fill in areas. Available at Lesada online store.

Eyebrow Pencils are used to draw on brows where there are no hairs at all. If you are using brow pencils, choose a shade lighter than your head hair colour. Take small strokes to mimic tiny hairs and definitely map out a starting, ending and arch point before you begin. Remember brows are like sisters, not twins, so it’s okay if they aren’t perfectly alike. Just be sure to give yourself a neutral expression without a huge arch.

When to Seek Professional Help

Many options are available to combat eyebrow grooming problems. There is waxing, threading, tweezing and tinting available. If you are feeling daunted, I would suggest seeking professional help the very first time you want to groom. This will lay the foundation for future at-home tweezing and give you a guide to follow.

Eyebrow Fails

My twelve year old daughter and her friend were giggling about eyebrows fails they had seen. My daughter said “You don’t want your brows to look like they were sponsored by Nike!” And that there, sums up everything you need to know about brow grooming! I will leave you with some funny pictures I found on the internet…

 

Getting Past the Past

There’s a beautiful song I love called Past the Past by Jess Moskaluke. Please listen to it now… I think we can all relate in someway, can’t we? Today I’d like to focus on a few of the specific lines. As someone who can very much relate to this song, both personally and on behalf of clients, I want to examine why it’s hard to get Past the Past. And as a Life Coach, I can say that change is possible and you can do this!

Too Scared to be Happy Now

The fear of success keeps many people from starting their own business, going out on dates, making new friends or moving to a new city. What if we are shot down? Or worse, what if we are successful? If we start doing new things, that’s going to more learning, more new people, more money spent. Too often we cling to the familiar. It’s so much easier to live with what we know how to manage. We tell ourselves that it’s always been this way, how can things change?

People who are unhappy might not even know it!

Many of my crossdressing clients are afraid to wear makeup for the first time in case they don’t end up looking pretty. It’s easier to not know what they could look like, rather than destroy the fantasy with what could possibly be, a terrible reality check. But being scared to take that next step holds them back from being truly happy with themselves. It holds them back from being themselves in public, making new friends and experiencing ultimate success.

People I Depended on Didn’t Show Up

This line really hit me in the gut. When I was going through my divorce with an abusive husband, I lost a lot of friends. Mostly because they weren’t there for me during a very difficult time. I couldn’t get over the fact that my best friend wouldn’t even talk to me on the phone. She wouldn’t get together with me or check in to see how I was doing. She told me later that she didn’t know what to do. So she did nothing. My family was there, but they didn’t know how to support me and encourage me in a way to help me grow. Everyone was emotional and their feelings and hurts hindered my growth and ability to move on and away from the past.

My crossdressing clients also describe this hurt. Many crossdressers stay in the closet out of fear of hurting the people who love them. They feel that they can’t be happy when they are changing someone else’s life so drastically against their wishes.

You Give me Love I Didn’t Earn

I turned to Internet chat forums and social platforms to find new people to get me through my difficult times. Those people came through for me. They loved me where I was at and were there when I needed an impartial ear to listen. But I was always wary of why they were there. My own friends weren’t there, so what did these people expect of me in return? As it turns out, nothing! These people came to me with love. They had been there too and wanted nothing more than to give back in appreciation of others who had helped them through their own struggles. These strangers didn’t care about my past because it didn’t affect them or their relationship with me. Quite unlike the people who had known me for years, who were very emotionally invested in me.

Re-Write All My History

It is possible to re-write history. We can learn from our mistakes and tell others about them. We can change our thought patterns about certain topics or experiences. We can re-write someone else’s future while healing our own past. And once we have moved into true happiness, we can look back and be grateful for the difficulty. Because without it, we wouldn’t have met those new people, moved to a new city or started that business.

I Just Gotta Get Past the Past

Easier said than done, isn’t it? But trust me, it is possible. And once you do, a wonderful, amazing world of confidence and freedom is handed to you! Yes, it is handed to you. Once you get Past the Past.

You must be willing to get over the fear of being happy, put your faith and trust in strangers, seek change and re-write your thought patterns and old stories you tell yourself.

As a Life Coach, I can guide you through all of these challenges. We will develop customized action plans and take baby steps to take you from hurting paralysis to soaring happiness! I am the one to give you love you didn’t earn and love you for where you are, even if you aren’t loving yourself right now.

If you want to get Past the Past and get help from someone who truly understands you and what you are going through, book your first session today! It’s only $35! Learn more at lesada.ca/coaching

Differing Journeys

Have you ever heard the saying “There’s more than one way to skin a cat?” It means that there’s more than one path to reach a destination.

When I was in my late teens, I wanted to go to school, get married, have a family. When I went off to college, I already had a boyfriend. He proposed to me in November of my first year. He was the only boyfriend I ever had. My parents hadn’t talked to me about dating or what it was like to live on my own or with a room mate. I just assumed that you were supposed to marry the person you were with. So I agreed to the proposal. I wanted a house and a family and thought that that was how it worked.

Looking back…

twenty years and a divorce later, I realize my thoughts were wrong. There is more than one way to skin a cat. I was working full time, I could have easily afforded the tiny apartment we had on my own. As for children, we all know a person can do that on their own too, although a family unit with a mom, dad and kid is what I wanted. But even so, I didn’t have a baby until six years after I got married. That was plenty of time for me to have built a little nest on my own before finding the right person for me. Sigh. If only I had known then what I know now…

I have a lot of young people come in to Lesada looking for direction. They are considering transitioning from male to female. Often they are confused about sexuality, emotions, dating and their place in society. Just because a man likes wearing silky nighties or painting his toenails doesn’t mean he has to suddenly become a woman.

Looking ahead…

My advice to those seeking answers is to explore. Experiment with different people. Find out what you like and what you don’t like. Build on what you learn and what you enjoy. In this day and age, you can do anything you want, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else. Maybe you are a man who likes to wear eyeliner, or, maybe you really are a girl, or maybe a bit of both!

Your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and beyond are all ages to explore new interests. If you think you might like something, try it. Even if it’s not what others are doing. Explorations lead to discoveries and it’s so exciting when you discover yourself!

Looking up…

Exploration, breaking new ground and cutting new paths on your journey can be scary and hard. If you need help and a guide along the way, consider Life Coaching. I, Leanne, am a certified Transformational Life Coach and would be happy to work with you as you explore your life’s path. It’s easy to get started, just visit www.lesada.ca/coaching to book your first call.

 

 

Top 5 Reader Recommendations!

 

As you know, I love hearing everyone’s stories. By talking to people, I have made some amazing discoveries that have made my life easier! By talking to others, sharing experiences, successes and disappointments, we learn what works and what doesn’t for people. Read on to learn the Top 5 Recommendations from my clients. Then share your recommendations of products, hacks and tips in the comments below!

#5 Quick Fix

If you use silicone breast forms, one day you may need a quick repair job. Tamara recommends using silicone adhesive to repair minor punctures for a short term fix. This won’t repair them indefinitely, but will certainly tide you over until a replacement can be shipped. Check out this tutorial for help.

#4 Only One Glue Will Do

Speaking of adhesives, have you ever attempted to glue your eyebrows? Elle has discovered that Elmer’s stick glue is the best brand for this. Elle also advises to apply rubbing alcohol on a cotton pad and thoroughly clean your eyebrows before doing anything else. The alcohol will dissolve any oils and provide a clean base to help the glue adhere even better.

#3 Easy Hair Removal

Pauline advises that we use an epilator to quickly and effectively remove unwanted hair from the neck down. Acting like a dozen tweezers, an epilator pulls hair from legs, arms and body. You may need to shave a tiny bit, but it keeps stubble to a minimum. Over time, regrowth is inhibited as well. Pauline has tried a few different brands and recommends Philips Satinelle model, available on Amazon and Walmart for about $45.00.

Pauline recommends Philips Satinelle Epilator for body hair removal

#2 Professional Photos Always

Bathroom selfies be gone! with a cell phone tripod recommended by Frannie. Available on Amazon for only about $20-$35 you can take beautiful poses and videos with the click of a remote button. This tripod wraps on to things or stands on it’s own so you don’t have to pose in front of a mirror or take extremely close up selfies. Frannie has taken her mini cell tripod to the park and around town for a professional photo session created by herself. Check it out, you’ll be glad you did!

Get professional shots with a cell phone tripod recommended by Frannie

#1 Shop En Femme

Heather had the brilliant idea to keep her feminine expenses separate by obtaining a VISA card in her feminine name. When you own a VISA credit product in your legal name, you can get additional cards for family members by only providing their name. Using her masculine name as the primary account holder, she was able to obtain an additional card for Heather. Now she is free to shop completely en femme as well as keep her feminine purchases separate from her other expenses. Please note, that all purchases for both credit cards appear on the same bill, so if you are sharing the account with a spouse, keep this in mind.

What tip made you say A-HA!? What tips or recommendations can you share with others? Comment below!

Urge to Purge

Lindsay recounted wistfully the details of a beautiful white pantsuit she used to own. It fit her perfectly and made her feel like a million bucks. But it was lost to a purge.

Ashley had an insanely gorgeous champagne coloured ball gown that had pearls around the bodice. It too, went out to the second hand shop in a wild purge that she regrets to this day.

What possessed these girls to discard their beautiful belongings, then regret it so much?

A Personal Story of Purging

Rachel, a 37 year-old closet crossdresser spent hours online shopping for specialty themed outfits. She wanted the hot mom look – tight leggings, an off-the-shoulder cropped sweat top, bangle bracelets and pink eye shadow. Then there was the ballgown phase – huge hair, tiaras, sparkling chandelier earrings and a sparkly fitted gown with miles of tulle and rhinestones. Oh, and we can’t forget the sexy, businesswoman wardrobe! It wouldn’t be complete without a tight pencil skirt, button down white shirt blouse and a pair of sexy glasses. So much stuff!!!

It was so fun checking the mailbox and having a parcel arrive almost daily!

Exciting Packages!!!

 

Until the credit card bill arrived one day in the mailbox amongst the packages.

Rachel was horrified to see how much she had spent on herself and the ‘silly’ purchases she had made. Most of the things she bought were cheaply made and didn’t even fit right. They had brought a thrill to her when she was opening up the packages, but also stressed her out that someone would find her beautiful things.

She decided “once and for all” that she was never going to shop online again. She decided she was stupid for buying all these girly things and she should just forget it all. Rachel believed she would never be passable. And she definitely would never get a girlfriend if they knew this side of her, she thought.

And in one big fit of self doubt and personal anger, she gathered every last shred of girlyness into a giant garbage bag and drove to the clothing donation bin.

The lid slammed with an echo of finality.

The Reasoning Behind The Purge

Many closet crossdressers, like Rachel, Lindsay and Ashley, are ashamed of their feminine side. They are constantly battling against how they feel inside and how they want people to perceive them as men. They feel that if anyone were to find out they enjoy wearing ballgowns or tiaras or short skirts, their world as they know it would be lost. In their male world they hold down very masculine jobs, such as construction workers and truck drivers, or high powered, high stress careers like lawyers or emergency responders. A lot of crossdressers are also business owners, husbands and fathers. They are ashamed to reveal their feminine longings to others.

Many crossdressers are ashamed of their feminine longings.

It is for this reason, that a purge of all feminine belongings occurs. And sometimes quite often.

The fear of getting caught with a closet full of women’s clothes, wigs, high heels, and other lady-like accessories instigates a mass purge, followed by massive regret.

How to Resist the Urge to Purge

If you are like one of the girls in this article, you are probably wondering how to feel good about your purchases, love your girly belongings and not fight who you truly are. Here are a few tips to overcome the urge to purge.

  • Limit your purchases. When you carefully select items to add to your collection, rather than buying everything in sight, you will feel more confident about your purchases and keep spending habits in check.
  • Don’t buy mix-matched articles. When making a purchase, choose items that will complement each other. If you buy a top, get a skirt to match. You won’t regret having a pile of clothes that look like they were picked out by a three year old girl playing dress up.
  • Store your items lovingly. If your belongings are packed with care, you may be less likely to garbage them.
  • If you are susceptible to purging, write a note to your future self, reminding you how much you love and need those items to be your true, happy self. Place the note with some photos on the top of your bag or on your closet door.
Remind yourself how happy you were when you were being your true self!
  • Tell a trusted friend. When you reveal your secret to just one person, it doesn’t seem as scary.
  • Rent a storage locker. If you are afraid a new girlfriend, wife or parent is going to come across your secret stash, store it somewhere more private, yet still accessible. (Lesada offers storage in London, Ontario for a very nominal fee!)
  • Purge in small quantities. We all make regrettable purchases from time to time, especially online. If you bought items that don’t fit or don’t suit you, get rid of those things. Make sure your next purchases are items that will match and work with your articles that make you feel great.
  • Speak with Leanne, Transformation Maven and Life Coach. If you are fighting the urge to purge because you are ashamed of who you truly are, you are not alone. Leanne specializes in coaching crossdressers to value their self worth and confidence. Book a Free 15 Minute Call or in-depth 60 Minute Life Clarity Call today!

Have you ever regretted a purge? Tell your story in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

Top 10 Feminine Habits to Develop for Crossdressers

It’s time to shed those little “Man”nerisms that you do everyday without even thinking. When you develop new feminine habits and retrain your brain to think and act as a woman, you will be well on your way to enjoying the new you even more! What’s awesome is that all of these habits can be performed while in male mode!

10. Put your Napkin on Your Lap

It’s more delicate, more refined and more feminine when you take a moment to place your napkin on your lap before eating. Having your napkin on your lap will also remind you to sit with your legs together, rather than in a V-shape as many men sit.

9. Learn a Craft

Men tend to be more handy with tools and fixing things, so use your hands by doing a more delicate craft. There are many classes available at art supply stores such as Michaels or local art galleries. You can also investigate your library for classes or crafting books. Some fun crafts to try are scrapbooking, rubber stamps or card making, pottery or pottery painting at Crock-a-Doodle, making your own Christmas decorations or floral arranging.

8. Switch Beer for Wine or a Cocktail

Men often drink beers with the guys, but women drink wine, fruit coolers or cocktails like Bellinis when together. Next time you’re out, order a drink that comes with a straw and pretend you’re wearing lipstick that you don’t want to smudge!

7. Do More Housework

Even though times have changed, it’s still a fact that women complete most of the household chores including vacuuming, dusting and laundry. Ask your wife all the things she does around the house. You might be surprised how much she accomplishes that you didn’t even know needed to be done! Be a better husband and a better woman by learning how to complete some of those chores and changing your housecleaning habits.

Take on more household chores to develop your feminine habits.

6. Sit With Your Legs Closed

Men often make themselves bigger with a more open pose for standing, sitting and walking. Reduce your stature by changing your posture. Keep your legs and arms together when sitting and standing. This is a habit that is taught to girls when they are young-“Sit with your legs closed, hands on your lap, you’re wearing a skirt and no one needs to see your panties!” Said Mom and Grandma.

Sit in a closed position, opposite of the big open posture a man takes.

5. Call Yourself a Girl

When describing yourself, especially while dressed, don’t say things like “I’m a conservative guy” or “I’m a shy guy.” When you are dressed as a girl, make it a habit to describe yourself as such by saying things like “I’m a fun girl.”

4. Smile More

No matter who you are, or how you’re feeling, the habit of smiling more is sure to put you in a good mood, as well as those around you. Smiling at people also develops confidence and rapport. If you can show people through a smile that you are happy who you are, then the world will be a better place with you in it.

3. Adopt a Skin-Care Routine

Skin Care is extremely important to most women. No one wants wrinkles, blotchy skin, sun-burned skin or a tired look. A simple routine of washing and moisturizing your face twice a day will make a world of difference in the quality of your skin. Don’t forget to apply sunscreen as well!

2. Carry Personal Items in a Bag

Don’t stuff your pockets full with your wallet, keys, cell phone, etc. Use a satchel, purse, or even a back pack to carry your belongings around. Most women’s clothes don’t have pockets and if they do, they aren’t large enough to carry all that stuff. Develop a new feminine habit by leaving the house with a bag of some sort.

1. Sit to Pee!

This seems so obvious to me, but my clients always leave the toilet seat lid up after using my bathroom at an appointment. Whether you’re dressed or not, pee like a girl in a seated position!

By adopting these 10 simple habits, you will be well on your way to thinking and acting more like a lady. To learn more feminine habits or to hone your feminine silhouette, book a Comportment Lesson at Lesada today!

What challenges do you have when thinking as a women? Comment below.

Pride Without a Parade

Pride Parades are over-the-top, flamboyant, loud, exciting displays, but we should display pride in who we are everyday, not just during a Parade!

I was planning to attend a massive Pride Parade in Toronto. I bought a group bus ticket so I didn’t have to drive in a congested, unknown city when there were hundreds of thousands of people there. But, unfortunately, the bus, unbeknownst to me, had been cancelled due to low ticket sales. So, I didn’t get to go. But I was able to watch a portion of it on television. The announcers were interviewing many people, asking what Pride meant to them.

What Does PRIDE Mean?

Many people responded to the reporters that Pride meant inclusivity, acceptance, and being their true selves. Not many people mentioned that they associate Pride with sexual orientation, gender identity or fighting for rights, which was the intention of the Parade when it began years ago. 38 Years ago, in Toronto! Most people want to belong, live life the way they want to and express themselves in a way they feel comfortable.

As I was sitting in my car, all decked out in my rainbow wig and t-shirt, I got thinking. How can we carry the Spirit of Pride with us, wherever and whenever we are?

Show PRIDE by Supporting Others

The best way to share the accepting, inclusive spirit of Pride is to learn about others. Ask their name, what pronouns they prefer, and any other questions you want clarified. When you approach people with curiosity, rather than judgement, people are very willing to open up to you. It is through education and understanding that acceptance is born.

You can also show your openness and acceptance by displaying the Pride flag on your car or window, or by wearing an Ally button or bracelet. Even if you don’t identify under the LGBTQ umbrella, you can display your support and friendship in beautiful ways.

Display the Pride Ally symbol to show your support.

Show PRIDE by Educating Yourself

Learn all the identifying definitions and terms. There are so many! Remember there are a lot of “boxes” that people use to explain who they are. But not everyone fits into a “box”.  And “boxes” don’t always need a definition. It’s ok to accept people as they are without defining who they are. But if people want to identify with a certain term, please do your best to understand and be open with their definitions.

There are many other books, articles and videos that highlight individual stories of coming out, struggles and successes. You can show compassion for others by listening to them and sharing your own stories.

Show PRIDE by Accepting Others

Everyone is unique, it’s not a new concept. We are different from our neighbours, siblings, parents, friends, no two people are alike. We are most likely drawn to others who are similar and may be turned off others who are very different.

During the Pride Parade, you will see a lot of differences. You will see bare bums, buckets of glitter, promiscuity, colourful hair, extreme piercings and many other socially wild things. And even if you wouldn’t be caught dead gyrating in the street like some people at Pride, you can still agree to accept your differences in the way you have fun in this world. Also, at Pride, people get caught up in the loud, pulse, energy of the crowd and get carried away. It doesn’t mean that the way people act during the parade are how they are everyday in their home. So be accepting of how people chose to come out, get out of their own confines, and live it up from time to time.

To read individual stories of how others see themselves, visit Lesada Community.

Show PRIDE by Being Yourself

The most beautiful way you can display your love, acceptance and spirit of Pride is to go confidently into the world and love yourself. Sometimes loving yourself is harder than loving others. If you can love yourself, with all your flaws and perfections, shortcomings and successes, you can most certainly feel pride in other’s qualities. Shining your light bright enough for others to follow can make a huge difference in this world. Self acceptance and pride in yourself is the greatest gift you can give! Recognizing yourself in others contributes to respect, love and understanding as well.

Be proud of who you are everyday! Share in the Spirit of Pride, even if you can’t make it to the Parade.

Share your thoughts below on how you show your Pride support.

Summer Fashion Beat the Heat for Crossdressers

Crossdressing in the Summer can be sweltering! Wig, breast forms, bras, waist cinchers, butt pads, long sleeves to cover arm hair, two layers of stockings to cover leg hair, and makeup melting on your face, it’s not a pretty sight in the unrelenting summer heat. So what can a girl do to stay cool and fresh? These Summer Fashion clothing tips are sure to keep you cool as you enjoy the summer fun.

Free your Feet for Summer Fashion

  • Paint your toenails a bright, bold colour to make a hot summer fashion statement. Coral, teal, red or neon pink are guaranteed to make a splash! If you think your feet or toenails are too big and will appear manly, minimize the size by creating a design, or use two different colours on one nail. If your nails are highlighted with colour, the eye will be drawn there, not to the rest of your foot.
  • Wear open toed sandals, flip flops or flats. Summer is for running, swimming, hanging out with friends by a campfire. There is no need to look like you walked off the runway in sky-high heels! Ditch the heels and tread lightly in some fun, light footwear.
Minimize the size with a design or two-tone colours

Show Off Those Legs! (Or Not)

  • If you got it, flaunt it! If you opt to shave your legs, all the power to you! Wear skirts, shorts or sundresses to reveal what’s been hidden all winter.
  • If shaving your legs is not an option, you don’t have to swelter in the heat under layers of stockings. Instead, choose a long, floor length, flowy dress or skirt. Also look for bright, bold patterns or pleats to hide any other manly body parts, excess weight or other things you usually try to cram into a pair of stockings! Fabrics should be heavy enough to not be see-through, but light enough to be breathable.
  • Show off your enviable leg-length and be in hot Summer Fashion with elastic, high-waisted, straight-legged pants. It doesn’t matter what colour, dark or light, these types of pants are sure to keep you loose, cool and feeling sexy.

 

High waisted elastic pants are cool and flowy
Long, bold patterned skirts hide many manly body features

Waist Cinchers and Corsets be Gone!

  • Breathe a sigh of relief from the heat! Ditch the cincher and choose breathable Summer Fashion instead. Bamboo is a revolutionary fabric that wicks moisture away and keeps you cool.
  • Opt for optical illusions! Look for dresses and clothing styles that create the illusion of curves. Search for dresses that have colourful fronts and backs with darker sides. Other options to create waist curves are belts, side ruching, decorative buckles and bows.
Give yourself instant curves with a silhouette illusion dress
Create an hourglass figure with ruching and belts

Summer Fashion to Cover your Arms

  • Sweaters and long sleeves aren’t really an option in the summer heat. To cover muscular or hairy arms and shoulders, try a light wrap. A large silky scarf or lightly knitted poncho are great, airy summer options.
  • Instead of hiding your shoulders, highlight them with peasant type blouses or off-the shoulder tops. This Summer Fashion adds a flirtiness to your look while keeping you cool.
  • Go lacy if you need the comfort of long sleeves. Choose a dark colour to hide hair, or go for a lighter look with whites and creams.
a lacy top over a bright tank will cover up, but stay cool
Wear a light beach cover-up to stay cool, yet fashionable
Highlight your shoulders with a blousy, long sleeve off-the-shoulder top

Summer Fashion Accessories

  • Accessorize your look with hats, bags, jewellery, scarves, fun belts and don’t forget sunglasses!
  • Remember the hottest summer look you can rock is a smile, so wear yours boldly and get out there in the Summer Heat, with these awesome Summer Fashion hits!
  • Check out Summer Beauty tips for Crossdressers to Beat the Heat for great makeup tips to keep your face from melting this summer.

Comment below your favourite tip or summer fashion secret!