Are you nervous about taking an en femme outing? Do you worry about all the planning that seems necessary in advance?
I had the pleasure of speaking with Harietta during her free 15 minute scheduled call. Harietta said to me, “Let’s face it, we all love enhancing our inner femme. But I dread the notion of being “clocked” or “read” as a man while wearing a dress in public. I feel my life would collapse if I was recognized in public for the true man I am. So, as a crossdresser, I have learned to ‘manage’ my outings.” Even though Harietta wants to keep her femme identity secret, she doesn’t let it deter her from going out in public and having fun!
Harietta went on to explain everything she does to ease her nervousness and boost her confidence when going out en femme.
Managing Femme Outings
What exactly does it mean to “Manage” your outings?
Thinking of your outing as a well choreographed experience will relieve stress and therefore enhance your outing. Planning everything in advance will ensure you haven’t forgotten anything or get caught off guard by something as simple as needing to use the washroom.
Several Days in Advance of Your Outing
- Plan your outing – “I always know where I’ll be driving, where I’ll be parking, where I’ll be going, where I’ll be eating and where I’ll be peeing. Yahoo or Google Maps are great for this. Scout the place out in drab before. While out, you will need to use the ladies washroom, so make sure you know where it is.” Or, choose a small cafe that has only one washroom.
- Wear your shoes around the house. Sometimes shoes need time to mold to your feet and you might need time to re-familiarize yourself with walking in heels.
- Take extra special care of your skin days before and exfoliate the night before your outing so that there is no redness blasting through your foundation.
- Consider heading out of town – If you really need to keep your identity secret, consider travelling out of town for a day or even two for a worry-free romp.
Tucking Tip! “If you insist on tucking you must practice it well at home. And you should spend some real time tucked in guy/drab mode to test your system. It may take time to get to the point where twenty minutes in the car is not torture. When you go out en femme and tucked, make sure you have some regular undies and some wipes. Also consider that if you tuck those boys up there it displaces your bladder. Tight gaffs and undies make it worse. So limit the liquids, especially coffee, before you tuck.”
The Day of the Outing
- Look your best “No matter how much I’ve paid for it, or if I have done it myself, I will not go out with sub-par hair and makeup, even from a pro. I worry about getting noticed if it’s not right, and it distracts from my enjoyment of the episode. I always tell the receptionist about my gender fluidity in advance.”
- Pack Extra- “Always have a full set of man clothes and makeup remover in the car with a big blanket or comforter to change under in case things go south and you have to bail or answer a family emergency.”
- Make a checklist of every item you take with you on your outing. Harietta reported she’s gone nuts wondering where her lip plumper went when she hadn’t actually included it in her kit!
- Check the weather and traffic reports to avoid tie-ups and delays, especially if you have decided to take a your excursion to another city.
And the Most Important Tips…
- HAVE FUN!
- Take a ton of photos!
- Talk to people!
- Do something you’ve always wanted to do!
- Be yourself!
Hopefully, armed and prepared for the best you will be able to maximize your femme time and really enjoy your outing, while boosting your confidence at the same time.
Do you have any great tips on how you manage your outings? Leave a comment below!